Weekend Worship—I Wouldn’t Choose it, But I Wouldn’t Change it

And anyone who does not carry his cross and follow me cannot be my disciple. Luke 14:27 (NIV)

A lot of writing is like cross carrying. We tend to write about things that matter to us. Things matter to us because of our life experiences. When difficult things arise we all tend to ask why. I've found a more productive way to look at those traumas that shape us.

I think we all have regrets in our life, no matter how old we are. I have things I regret doing and not doing. I also have things I regret going through. I used to spend a lot of time in prayer asking God why and I got frustrated because God often didn’t seem to answer. Then one day, while reading my Bible, I came across this verse. Now I’ve read this verse many times before, but this time God’s Spirit spoke to me. He showed me that God doesn’t like the pain I’ve been through, but He’s used it in a powerful way in my life. He showed me that I wouldn’t be the person I am, without those times I regret. They are, in effect, my cross. They are things I have had to carry to become more Christ-like.

So for me, the question has become, “Do I want to be more like Jesus?” Absolutely! Then, I’ve had to look back and come to the painful knowledge that those times of regret have done that. They’ve made me into the person I am today. I’m now able to say, “I wouldn’t choose it, but I wouldn’t change it.” Is that easy? No way. Sometimes it takes years after a painful event or circumstance, but I can unequivocally say it’s worth the battle.

Weekend Worship—Beneath the Cross

Last Easter I found myself huddled beneath the cross where Jesus hung dying.

Now, for those of you that know me, that’s not as strange as it seems. I love the theater; I even majored in costume design for a time in college. But now, my favorite theater is found in the church. I love being involved in church dramas. For me, the Bible comes alive when it’s being portrayed on the stage.

I do have to confess that I don’t like being one of those onstage – hence the major in costume design. I absolutely hate being in front of a large group of people. I’ve found my place, though. I love being part of the stage crew and that’s what I was doing last Easter.

So, last Easter I huddled beneath the cross while Jesus hung suffering. I was dressed all in black, trying to make myself as small as possible so I wouldn’t detract from the actor portraying Christ. But as I crouched there, I heard his groans and watched him writhe in agony. I heard the cry of the crowds and felt my heart chilled by their impassive faces as they observed the drama.

Was this the way it had been 2000 years ago? The question in my mind transported me to ancient Jerusalem as my heart flooded with parallels. It was no longer just a drama on stage, Jesus’ agony and sacrifice became real in a way I could never have imagined.

The black I wore represented my sin and my invisibility to God in my wretchedness.

My silence, while necessary and expected during the performance, stung me with the resemblance of real life. The world expects me to be silent about the cross, or at least tasteful. And so often I comply, remaining quiet instead of speaking out.

Finally my attempt to remain hidden reminded me that while the world might not see me as I really am, Jesus had a perfect view of me while he hung suffering.

Yes, last Easter I found myself huddled at the base of the cross where Jesus hung dying.

And I will never be the same.

Weekend Worship - Cross Roads

Are you at a Cross road in your life? Has God brought you to a point where you don’t know which way to go on your journey with Him? Well, don’t feel like you’re alone. These moments come to all of us. I have so many things I can spend my time on—necessary things—all of them good things. As a matter of fact the only thing I know is that there isn’t enough time in the day to do everything! I can usually decide between good and evil, that’s a no brainer, but good and good, that’s much tougher.

This hits me constantly in my writing life. I have so many things I can spend my time on—how do I know what to chose? I’ve found there’s one choice that’s right every time. I’ve learned to chose God.

I know, it sounds like a Sunday school answer, one of those situation when the teacher asks a question and the answer is always God. I’m not talking about that kind of flip, hip answer. I’m talking about choosing a constant, consistent relationship with God, so that when those Cross roads appear, we’re ready. I’ve found that when we’re are walking closely with God, His leading is almost automatic. We get so tuned into His Spirit and His will for our lives, that we don't have to stop and think about our response.

On the other hand, when we’re walking in the flesh, in step with the world, our logic will usually lead us in the opposite direction from God. My logic, in and of itself, always seems to contain self justification and realization. I always know that I am out of step with Him when I have to stop and pray about every little thing, looking for God because I seem to have lost Him. I have wandered from His side and am once again seeking my own way. Of course there are times when I am walking with Him, and I am still unsure about what to do, but I find this doesn't happen as often.

So I encourage you to get in step with God. Build that relationship and let Him prepare you for the Cross roads ahead. Remember—He already know what you need to make the right decision.

Don’t forget to join the conversation!
Blessings,
Edie

Photo taken and owned by John Melson

Weekend Worship - Beneath the Cross

Welcome to Weekend Worship! This is a new section of my blog where I share a short devotion - just something to make us think. So join me here, every Saturday morning.
And don't forget to join the conversation!
Blessings,
Edie



Beneath The Cross

Last Easter I found myself huddled beneath the cross where Jesus hung dying.

Now, for those of you that know me, that’s not as strange as it seems. I love the theater; I even majored in costume design for a time in college. But now, my favorite theater is found in the church. I love being involved in church dramas. For me, the Bible comes alive when it’s being portrayed on the stage.

I do have to confess that I don’t like being one of those onstage – hence the major in costume design. I absolutely hate being in front of a large group of people. I’ve found my place, though. I love being part of the stage crew and that’s what I was doing last Easter.

So, last Easter I huddled beneath the cross while Jesus hung suffering. I was dressed all in black, trying to make myself as small as possible so I wouldn’t detract from the actor portraying Christ. But as I crouched there, I heard his groans and watched him writhe in agony. I heard the cry of the crowds and felt my heart chilled by their impassive faces as they observed the drama.

Was this the way it had been 2000 years ago? The question in my mind transported me to ancient Jerusalem as my heart flooded with parallels. It was no longer just a drama on stage, Jesus’ agony and sacrifice became real in a way I could never have imagined.

The black I wore represented my sin and my invisibility to God in my wretchedness.

My silence, while necessary and expected during the performance, stung me with the resemblance of real life. The world expects me to be silent about the cross, or at least tasteful. And so often I comply, remaining quiet instead of speaking out.

Finally my attempt to remain hidden reminded me that while the world might not see me as I really am, Jesus had a perfect view of me while he hung suffering.

Yes, last Easter I found myself huddled at the base of the cross where Jesus hung dying.

And I will never be the same.