Saturday, October 29, 2011

Weekend Worship—I Wouldn’t Choose it, But I Wouldn’t Change it

And anyone who does not carry his cross and follow me cannot be my disciple. Luke 14:27 (NIV)

A lot of writing is like cross carrying. We tend to write about things that matter to us. Things matter to us because of our life experiences. When difficult things arise we all tend to ask why. I've found a more productive way to look at those traumas that shape us.

I think we all have regrets in our life, no matter how old we are. I have things I regret doing and not doing. I also have things I regret going through. I used to spend a lot of time in prayer asking God why and I got frustrated because God often didn’t seem to answer. Then one day, while reading my Bible, I came across this verse. Now I’ve read this verse many times before, but this time God’s Spirit spoke to me. He showed me that God doesn’t like the pain I’ve been through, but He’s used it in a powerful way in my life. He showed me that I wouldn’t be the person I am, without those times I regret. They are, in effect, my cross. They are things I have had to carry to become more Christ-like.

So for me, the question has become, “Do I want to be more like Jesus?” Absolutely! Then, I’ve had to look back and come to the painful knowledge that those times of regret have done that. They’ve made me into the person I am today. I’m now able to say, “I wouldn’t choose it, but I wouldn’t change it.” Is that easy? No way. Sometimes it takes years after a painful event or circumstance, but I can unequivocally say it’s worth the battle.


  1. "I wouldn't choose it, but I wouldn't change it"--what a great way of putting it Edie, and I couldn't agree more. The difficult, painful times in life often make us ask "Why God?"

    But, I've found that asking, "What do You want me to do now, God?" or "How can I learn to live with (fill in the blank) is a more productive way to approach it.

    Not natural and never easy, as I can only see a something positive outcome in hindsight. Perseverance is tough but critical because growth takes time.

    Thanks for the reminder.

  2. Ellen, you're right, your questions are much more productive. I appreciate you sharing your wisdom!