Feeling Emotional—Don’t Tell Anyone!

instead show them

Telling the story, instead of showing it, is one of the most common mistakes beginners make. During the first draft almost all of us, no matter how advanced, tend to tell a lot of the story. It’s only natural. This is the time when our manuscript comes together and telling allows us to develop the bones or structure of the story before we refine it into a compelling work of fiction. But beginners often stop the refining process too early. So how do we take a story from just bare bones? One of the best ways is to add depth by showing how our characters feel without naming the emotions.

Now, I know a lot of you are probably having the same reaction I did when I first heard it wasn’t a good idea to name an emotion. I had a rather loud conversation with the writing book that first shared this nugget of information.

“You have got to be kidding me! Who made up this stupid rule? How can I tell the reader what’s going on if I don’t use words like scared or angry?”

And there is the crux of the problem—beginning writers always default back to telling the story. Writing fiction is hard work. It takes a lot of time and effort to write a book and write it well. You already know this—after all that’s why you’re taking the time to read and study about how to improve.

Like I mentioned, I didn’t have a positive reaction to my first exposure to this convention. But now it’s an aspect of rewriting that I enjoy and even look forward to. I look on this as a challenge—a game of sorts. The best part of this game is that when I, the author wins, everybody else does too. Am I nuts? Absolutely, but I am, after all, a writer!

Let me give you some examples. I’ll start each out with an excerpt where I name the emotion. Then, in the second, I'll let you see how I changed it to let the reader name the emotion by interpreting the character’s actions.

Example 1

Emotions Named:

She began to cry as shame and anger warred inside. “I didn’t do anything wrong.” Her voice sounded hoarse as she tried to control her frustration.

Emotions Implied:

Tears flooded her eyes, making his features blur as she lifted her head and tried to focus. “I didn’t do anything wrong.” Her voice came out like a croak and she tried to clear her throat, but choked on the unshed tears.

The first excerpt tells the reader what’s going on. Granted, the writing is clear, but we’ve all heard the expression that a picture is worth a thousand words. The second excerpt is that picture. It invites the reader into the action and leaves them to draw their own conclusions.

Here’s another one.

Example 2

Emotions Named:

Manaen rose, her anger giving her strength as she faced her brother. “Do not think to intimidate me.” His arrogance amazed her even as it infuriated her. “I am not a child to be bullied. My Lord’s Spirit speaks to me as clearly as to you.”

Emotions Implied:

Manaen rose in response, her eyes almost even with his as she drew herself up to her full height, oblivious of her feminine garment. “Do not think to intimidate me.” Her jaw worked as she gritted her teeth. “I am not a child to be bullied. My Lord’s Spirit speaks to me as clearly as to you.”

And a final one.

Example 3

Emotions Named:

Rage sent Josiah shooting to his feet. “I tell you, Manaen, I’ve never witnessed any Elder behave in this manner.” Josiah paced, feeling like his world was collapsing. Confusion made him restless. “I just don’t understand.”

Emotions Implied:

He shot up from the desk, upsetting the chair. “I tell you, Manaen, I’ve never witnessed any Elder behave in this manner.” Josiah prowled through the briefing area of their quarters, picking things up and setting them down again. “I just don’t understand.”

Now it’s your turn. Take one of these two sentences and show us the emotion in place of naming it.

Example 1

Susan’s agony flooded through her as sorrow mingled with guilt. “What have I done?”

Example 2

“Hello? Who’s there?” Jenny’s fear reached a crescendo as the footsteps above moved toward the stairs.

I can't wait to see what you come up with - so

Don't forget to join the conversation!

Blessings,

Edie

Do I need a blog?

Over the next few weeks I’m going to address some questions that come up everywhere I teach. One of the top ten is always, “I want to be a writer, do I have to have a blog?” The answer is an emphatic no. Nobody has to have a blog or a website to be a successful writer. As a matter of fact, in a lot of instances, it’s better not to have one.

Several years ago, when there were fewer blogs on the internet, it was a good way to get your name out and build recognition. Now, everybody and their dog (literally) has a blog. Because of that, it’s harder to get your blog noticed. Let me emphasize, harder—not impossible.

If you want to have a blog, it’s important to know what you want to accomplish. With so much competition out there, you also have to be quite focused in the content of your blog. You have to have a reason to post and make certain that is communicated to those who click on your site.

Here are some things to consider before you start a blog

• Have a definite focus. My blog is all about writing—even more specifically it’s a blog devoted to teaching others about the writing industry. I can’t emphasize enough the need to focus, focus, focus!
• Try to find a niche that hasn’t been overdone. It seems that with the success of the blog, Novel Journey, everyone is starting a blog about their writing journey. Don’t copy what others are doing, try something fresh.
• Decide on a schedule to post and STICK WITH IT! If you announce that you’ll post every Monday, your followers will expect you to do just that. If they click on your site and one Monday nothing new has been posted they may not come back. If it happens more than once, I can guarantee they won’t try again.
• Pick a schedule you can meet. I started this blog by posting once a week. Now, I post three times a week. But I needed to start slow to make certain I could meet my deadlines.

Now, if I haven’t scared you off, here are some places to go to build your blog. Two of the best are Blogger and Wordpress. Both are free, reputable and VERY simple to do yourself. This blog is built on a blogger template. And yes, there are other blogs out there that look similar, but people visit your blog because of the content, not how it looks.

One note: If your blog is hard to read because of color choice, font or font size; it will KEEP visitors from returning to it. But the appearance of your blog rarely drives traffic TO your site.

Both Blogger and Wordpress have a selection of templates that are easy to use. They both also have options to personalize your blog. Blogs, as opposed to websites, are easy to build and manage yourself. Later we’ll discuss websites.

If you have any questions you’d like answered just post them in the comments section and I’ll get to them over the next few weeks.

Don’t forget to join the conversation,
Blessings,
Edie

Thursday Reviews

Today, I'm pleased to announce a guest reveiwer, freelance writer and photographer, Mary Denman. Mary is one of my critique partners and I'm excited to bring you her review of Stein on Writing, by Sol Stein.

Are you thinking about writing a book one day? Maybe you already have a manuscript well under way. Then Sol Stein’s book, Stein on Writing is one you need to get your hands on quickly. A veteran editor of the publishing world, Stein takes his vast knowledge of the industry and offers you a chance to learn from one of the best.

What can you learn? Everything from creating fascinating characters to understanding plotting. He explains showing, not telling and how to create tension. Need to liposuction the flab from your writing? He covers that too. Throughout this book, Stein empowers you to go through your own work, whether you write fiction or nonfiction and edit it successfully.

His editor’s heart comes through in the teaching style found in the book. Not only does he explain what you need to know and look for to improve your writing, but he also gives examples from published authors to illustrate his point. And, to make sure you’re engaged and getting the most you can from the book, he has exercises in every chapter for you to put into practice what he just taught. This book will take you from the start of your manuscript to your final revisions.

When I talk to someone who’s just starting to write, this is one of the first books I recommend. It’s one of the foundational books for helping writers understand the many components and nuances of writing. The cover on my copy is starting to curl from use. Every time I pick up this book to reread it, I learn something new. And that makes it a valuable tool in a writer’s arsenal.

Mary Denman, a home-schooling mom with 5 kids, has been married to her college sweetheart Todd for 22 years. She began writing professionally a few years ago and has published articles in several magazine, including Focus on Your Child, by Focus on the Family. She’s also a published freelance photographer. She has finished her first novel for young adults and is well into the second book of the series.