Elusive Truth

by Sarah Van Diest @SarahVanDiest

“Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.” 2 Corinthians 3:17

Why does truth, though perhaps accepted by our minds, so often elude our hearts?

A teenage girl, beautiful by every standard of beauty we hold, thinks she’s ugly. She despises her teeth, her chin and her general appearance. The truth of her beauty has been told to her many times over the years in words and in the way others respond to her, but she can’t quite believe it. She tortures herself. Loathes herself. Gives herself away. She simply doesn’t believe in her heart the truth of her beauty and worth.

A mother whose son took his own life blames herself for his choice. She knows it was his decision, but she cannot shake the feeling it was her fault. Though she loved him dearly every day of his life, her heart is crushed under the belief that she caused it to end. She tortures herself. Loathes herself. Her life slips away into nothingness.

These stories are so sad, but we’ve all seen them. Or maybe we’ve lived them, and maybe living them today. The truth that maybe we are able to hold steadily in our minds won’t sit still in our hearts. It may come now and then to rest there, but it flies away, chased off by the feelings of blame, shame, disbelief or some belief that isn’t Truth.

We compound the issue by believing that healing means no more pain.

We compound the issue by believing that healing means no more pain. Somewhere along the mostly Christian road we were taught that pain from the past goes away when our Savior heals us. He wipes all our tears away if our faith is strong enough, they say. The converse, then, must be true: if our faith is weak then He won’t. Pain, they continue to tell us, is evidence of our anemic faith. In walks the self-blame, feelings of inadequacy, and shame.

The promise our Savior gives of wiping away our tears is for a future none have yet seen or known. He gave us those words as hope. How we find a way to be self-condemnatory out of a promise meant to bring hope is astounding! But we do it. Our souls are trapped in the shame of our pain, unable to allow the Truth to penetrate our desperate spirits and bring freedom.

Winter

Tied and wrapped up, bulging at the seams, yours is a stifled soul.
Contained, restrained, restricted and denied, yours is a thirsty spirit.

Winter...

A chill breaks in a burgeoning breeze, and wisps and whips; a gathering wind.
Frost covers and cocoons, envelops and holds still and stiff the stifled soul and thirsty spirit.
Penetrated deeply and contorting in its grasp the held is manipulated and mauled by cold.
Frozen.
Unmoving, unbending, quiet.
Deathly silent.

Yours is a stifled soul.
Yours is a thirsty spirit.

Blown on by the Spirit sent as Comforter,
The winter white breaks, falls off and drops below.
Uncovered now.
Unburdened now.
Unleashed and unfurling.
Undone and enduring.
Movement.
Freedom.
Life.

Yours is a stifled soul.
Yours is a thirsty spirit.

Though the spring of life flows out
And sprigs and twigs burst forth,
A memory lives in the stifled soul and thirsty spirit.
Reminders of a winter past and another yet to come.

It is not cold or snow or frost that holds the soul or contorts the spirit,
It is the belief it should not be winter.

The greatest distance for truth to travel, I’ve been told and I believe, is from the head to the heart. The difficult journey is riddled with traps, wrong turns, road blocks and walls. We defend our hearts from Truth as if a brutal enemy were invading and the castle walls were about to be torn down by a ruthless foe. The great irony is that it is Truth walking up to our fortified structure gently extending love and grace and freedom, and our resistance to Truth is our demise. We have been bewitched. Our vision confused.

Truth holds our hope and we send it away. We deny it access to the place it is meant to live and thrive.

A mind renewed by Truth is a life transformed. A soul convinced of Truth is a life of abundance and freedom.

TWEETABLES

Elusive #Truth for a thirsty spirit - @SarahVanDiest (Click to Tweet)

"A mind renewed by #Truth is a life transformed." - @SarahVanDiest (Click to Tweet)

Sarah has worked in Christian publishing since 2005 as both an editor and an agent.

Currently, she works with her husband, David, in their agency, the Van Diest Literary Agency. Writing is a growing passion for her as she hopes to bring hope to hurting hearts.

Weekend Worship—Freedom as a Holy Ghost Writer

Ghostwriting is one of my new skills

But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all that I said to you. John 14:26

This past year I had the opportunity to hone a new skill, ghostwriting. It’s something I’ve wanted to do, although I wondered whether I’d really enjoy the process.

For those who aren’t familiar with how ghostwriting works, here’s the process boiled down into its simplest form. The ghostwriter agrees to take a concept or story and put it into manuscript form. It might involve turning a series of sermons or the events of someone’s life into a full-length book. The concept is that the idea comes from the author, and the order of the words comes from the ghostwriter. This means that in most instances, the final decisions on how the idea looks as a manuscript belongs to the author, NOT the ghostwriter. Frequently the ghostwriter isn't even mentioned.

Weekend Worship—Meditations from Ethiopia #4—The Power and Freedom of Weakness

But He said to me, "My grace is enough for you. When you are weak, my power is made perfect in you." So I am very happy to brag about my weaknesses. Then Christ's power can live in me. II Corinthians 12:9 (NCV)

Ethiopia

God is still revealing the lessons behind what He showed me while I was in Ethiopia. I shouldn’t be surprised, but I have to admit I am. The majority of things He showed me weren't what I expected. Oh, I tried to go with an open mind—I even told several people I didn’t have any expectations. But, as always happens with my best intentions, preconceived notions had crept in unaware.

I had expected to be exhausted when I got home—a perfectly logical, harmless expectation that seemed to make perfect sense at the time. After all, working for God was hard and would take all my strength.

I couldn’t have been more wrong.  

• What I found was that I wasn't working FOR God—He was working THROUGH me.
• He hadn't sent me there to do something FOR Him. He had sent me there to do something IN me—and then to use it to touch others. 
• I immediately realized that I couldn't accomplish a thing with all MY strength—but when I relied on GOD'S strength I saw miracles.

Ethiopia

These truths brought with them a time of refreshing and a miraculous freedom. A veritable flood of blessings in the dry, dusty continent of Africa. It was a freedom that could only come through total dependence. I had no control over where I stayed, what I ate, or even the work assigned to me.

And it was absolutely glorious. I experienced the truth that when I let go—then and only then—everything falls into place . . . and I pray I will never be the same.

Weekend Worship—Freedom

And you will know the truth and the truth will make you free. John 8:32

Now I have to confess, usually I can only take so much TRUTH when it comes to my writing. And as exciting as writers conferences are, there's a surfeit of truth that goes on here. Everyone you talk with has an opinion, especially when it comes to your writing and how it should be fixed. Add to that the late nights, adrenalin rush of meetings, and a schedule jam packed with classes and you have a recipe for emotional disaster. I found myself on that very roller coaster Friday night. But Saturday morning, after an unusually good night’s rest, worship was a wonderful time of hearing from God.

The worship team led us in several praise songs, but the one that resonated with me focused on the freedom we have in Christ. I found myself asking God how I could hang on to that freedom in a day packed with unexpected highs and lows. Frequently, in the past, I’ve found the conference and the week following, a time of bondage. I’ve felt trapped by expectations of others and the obvious shortcomings within myself.

As I prayed, asking if somehow this time could be different I felt my spirit vibrate with God’s answer. His answer was to remind me that He gave me this story—for this time. He didn’t choose anyone else, He chose me. And I felt that today He would confirm His trust in me.

After the worship time, I went straight to my 15 minute appointment with an editor. As I sat down, I felt slightly nervous, but nothing like I have in the past. The editor listened as I gave him a brief pitch and then asked to see the first few pages of the manuscript. He read for a moment and asked if I’d like editorial feedback.

I felt myself swallow hard—here it came—more of that truth. But I replaced my fear with a picture of the word freedom and nodded. As he began marking up my pages and explaining sections that needed to be cut I felt an unearthly peace. Here it was—God’s confirmation.

The editor stopped talking and looked at me strangely. “You’re taking this awfully well.”

That was when I realized I had a huge grin on my face. I’m sure it must have briefly crossed his mind that I was some sort of a nutcase or maybe he was the butt of a joke and this wasn’t really my manuscript.

Truth was his revisions filled me with joy. The parts he removed were those that I’d let others, against my better judgment, talk me into adding. When he was done, I was left with the story exactly the way God had given it to me.

Today I found freedom—and confidence—to believe in God’s work in me and in my ability to carry it out. I challenge you to ask for God’s confirmation where you feel lacking. His answer will surprise you—it certainly did me. I’d love to hear your story so . . .

Don't forget to join the conversation!
Blessings,
Edie