Get Taken Seriously as a Writer by Your Family and Friends

Nobody takes me seriously or respects my time.

This seems to be a common refrain I hear from newer writers. They’ve finally worked up the courage to get serious about writing regularly and some of their closest family and friends won’t respect their time. They get calls during the times they’re writing and attitude if they don’t stop to talk. They hear comments that undermine their newfound confidence.

“You can do that, after all you stay home all day.”

“Oh come on, you’ve got nothing better to do.”

And my favorite. “It’s not like you have a real job.”

So what’s a writer to do?

To begin with, take a deep breath and realize this problem isn’t unique to writers. It happens to everyone who works from home—I should know—my husband and I have shared a home office for the past thirteen years. For some people an office isn’t an office if it isn’t off site. Not logical—but an all too common misconception.

I’ve fought this battle—sometimes more successfully than others—and these are the strategies I’ve come up with. 

• First, make certain you’re setting the example you want followed. By that I mean keep regular hours. Notice I said regular hours—not normal ones. For years I wrote with young children. That meant writing in the afternoons and after they were in bed. Just because you’re working odd hours doesn’t mean you can’t have a schedule.
• Second, treat what you’re doing like you’re serious. If you blow off writing for shopping and lunch several times a week your friends and family won’t understand if you don’t stop for them.
• Third, be consistent. If you’re not accepting calls from your mother-in-law because you’re working, don’t spend the afternoon on the phone with your best friend. Stay focused on your writing. This is even more critical if your time is at a premium.
• Fourth, recruit a support team. Instead of adversaries, enlist your friends and family to help you reach your writing goals. Communicate those goals, clearly and frequently. Ask for their help to reach them. After all, what mother doesn’t want to help her baby succeed!
• Fifth, share your victories. Let those that help you share in the joy of goals accomplished and milestones reached.

These five things have helped me immeasurably over the years. But they’re not a cure all. There will still be those who think what you do is fun and not work. Expect that, anticipate it even. Knowing it happens to everyone takes away a little bit of the sting.

So what have you found to help when you struggle with sabotaging friends and family?

Don''t forget to join the conversation!

Blessings,

Edie

Motivation Malaise

Dictionary.com gives this definition for malaise, a vague or unfocused feeling of mental uneasiness, lethargy or discomfort.

That totally describes my feeling today. As you know, I spent most of June traveling. Then this past weekend was a holiday weekend. So it feels like a long time since I’ve kept regular working hours. Because of this, I’m finding it hard to get motivated.

Now I pride myself on being a go-getter when it comes to my writing/work schedule, so this unexpected set-back caught me by surprise. I couldn’t resist trying to find the basis for my lethargy and the results surprised me.

I found three issues that seem to be the basis of my malaise.

•  Mental Fatigue: like I mentioned, I’ve been traveling for the better part of a month. Add to that the Blue Ridge Mountains Christian Writers Conference in early May—with all the preparation needed and I have been living in overdrive for just under two months.
• Disrupted Routine: I’ve discovered writing takes a certain set of mental muscles—and mine are woefully out of practice.
• Insecurity: yep, you read that right. I’m the poster child for low self-confidence when it comes to writing. I find myself fighting against that voice in my head which insists everything up to now was blind luck and I’ll never write another publishable word again.

Having ferreted out what I think are the root problems, I immediately set about devising a plan. Here’s what I came up with.

• Mental Fatigue: I’ll be watching the clock and taking frequent breaks during my workday to stretch and walk around my house or neighborhood. I’m convinced exercise is the key to breaking through this roadblock. 
• Disrupted Routine: for this, I’ll be very dogmatic with my schedule. Watching the time I spend on specific tasks will help me make up lost ground in the quickest way possible. This kind of discipline will also help build back up my writing muscles.
• Insecurity: this one is a little trickier. I’ll be building in rewards for accomplishments—like lunch or coffee with a writing buddy or a trip to the local bookstore. This will help me begin looking for my successes, as well as easing me back into a regular routine. 

So how well does this work? I’d love to tell you this is a foolproof answer, but I’m just starting this part of the journey and I really don't know. I started this post early this morning and am writing this paragraph at 7pm, so I can say these strategies have worked amazingly well for today. You’ll just have to stay tuned to see if it continues help me refocus and regain my momentum.

What about you? Have you ever dealt with a similar issue? If so, how did you ease back into the real world? Any advice . . . warnings? I’d love to hear from you.

Don’t forget to join the conversation!

Blessings,

Edie

Ordering Your Days on a Weekly Basis

I've received a lot of questions since I posted my personal writing schedule. Most dealt with the idea that many of you are not writing full time, yet you still need help ordering your day.

It doesn't matter whether you write as a calling, a hobby or a business. We all perform better when we have expectations and a way to judge results. For those of you just starting out, here are some suggestions.

1. Set small, measurable goals
2. Under estimate the time you'll be able to put in
3. Adjust your goal setting to a weekly mode, rather than daily

Weekly Word Count Goal
One of the things I've found most helpful when setting word count goals is to set my goal for the week rather than the day. I still have two teenagers in and out of the house so sometimes life interrupts life. To combat this, I set a weekly wordcount goal for my fiction endeavors. Then, I break it down into daily totals. If I miss a day's goal, I can make it up later in the week and I don't wind up feeling like I've failed.

Weekly Project Goal
You may normally work on smaller projects, like articles or devotions. If that's the case, try to set a goal of one devotion or article a week.

Revolving Weekly Goal
You might want to try something I call a revolving weekly goal. This is where you have a different goal every week for 3 weeks and then it starts over. The first week you might complete a small project. The next week, you look for markets where you can sell it. The third week you might spend learning about the craft of writing. Then you begin the cycle again.

Whatever method works for you is the BEST method.

Just remember, that no matter how early or how far along you are on your writing journey we all need to spend time studying the craft of writing. That can be done through reading books, attending a seminar or conference, or reading blogs and websites.

All of these are necessary for us as writers to improve our craft.

So what have you found works best for you? Share your insights with the rest of us - please!

Don't forget to join the conversation,
Blessings,
Edie