Dealing With Writing Rejection is Painful but Not Impossible to Overcome

by Larry J. Leech II @LarryJLeechII

The word ‘no’ may be the second most-dreaded word in the English language, behind only ‘cancer.’

I don’t know about you, but a number of emotions rise to the surface when I’m told ‘no,’ ‘not now,’ ‘maybe later,’ or ‘hold on.’ All those sound and feel like rejection. I get that rejection is part of life, but sometimes, well, most of the time, being rejected just flat out stinks. 

When we don’t get our way, the emotional reactions vary, depending on age. Toddlers and young children might throw a temper tantrum. Maybe even throw something. Older children, even adults, might slam a fist on a table. Or pout. Or stomp out of a room. 

How quickly one overcomes rejections depends on each person’s personality and the type of rejection. A person rejected after being with another person for years certainly takes longer to overcome than being told “No, I don’t want to go out with you again” after a few dates.

Recently I was told ‘no’ in regard to something I really wanted. Something I wanted more than I realized when I first brought up the idea. When the negative decision was announced, I did my best to mask my emotions. But after the call ended, I cried for an hour. Later, I held a pity party—until I realized that the ‘no’ could be ‘not right now.’ Okay, that helped. So, now the ‘no’ still stings, but doesn’t hurt like it did.

For me, I have learned that when I am rejected, I absolutely must recognize and ‘feel’ my emotions. Stuffing them and pretending I’m okay causes more problems later—resentment, hatred, anger, fear, anxiety, stress. 

Then I need some self-care. That usually entails a nap or cranking some of my music. 

And when I turn to God for comfort from the rejection, I begin to trust that the ‘no’ is part of his plan for my career, my relationships, my life. Then I can fully move on from the hurt and disappointment. 

What are some ways that you deal with rejection? I’d love to hear what helps return you to a positive outlook.

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Editor-in-Chief at Bold Vision Books and writing coach of award-winning authors, Larry J. Leech II has spent more than forty years writing and editing. He started his career as a sportswriter in southwestern Pennsylvania where he covered prep, college, and pro sports, including the Pittsburgh Pirates and Steelers. 

In 2004, after 2,300 published articles, Larry moved into the book publishing industry. Since that time, he has ghostwritten 30 books, edited more than 400 manuscripts, and coached hundreds of authors through the writing and publication process. You can find him online on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram.