Tips for Writers: When Talking Is Showing, Not Telling

by PeggySue Wells @PeggySueWells

For a writer, dialog is a handy tool to show, instead of tell your reader important information about your character.

The vocabulary of a character lets the reader know if the character is educated, gives clues to the region the character is from, and shows the character’s nature to be relaxed, tightly wound, worried, sly, or confident.

Reading this excerpt from Chasing Sunrise, the speaker’s dialect instantly connects him to his background on St. Croix.

A nearby local answered Bryce’s question. “We go to the crab races, mon.”

Bryce and Michael looked over at the eavesdropper, who was keeping pace on his way to somewhere.

“Crab races?” Bryce echoed.

“You’re new to the island.” With brown eyes and an easy smile, the medium-built man stuck out his hand to Bryce and Michael. “I’m Ned. Native to the island.” 

At the end of the story, Ned appears in a completely different setting, but he remains the man from the island.

“Ya’ good, mon?” His dark eyes reflecting kind reassurance, Brother Ned stressed the accent as he dropped a reassuring hand on Michael’s shoulder.

Similarly, readers get to know the character and personality of Corbin McIntyre through the words he uses.

There was a long silence while Michael and Corbin regarded one another. At last the CO nodded. “A fair offer is nae cause fur feud.” Corbin stood and extended his hand to Michael. “We have an accord.”

Corbin’s unique vocabulary commonly shows up in his everyday dealings with his team.

Corbin covered the phone with his hand. “Jings and crivvens, Michael. Shut up and sit down.”

Later in the novel, we see Corbin when his temper is up.

“The Scottish people have a saying, Mr. Northington.”

Braced for the verbal onslaught, Michael maintained strict military bearing.

“God takes care of the poor and the stupid.” Corbin pushed his face close to Michael’s and thrust his finger into Michael’s chest, emphasizing every word with a thump against his breastbone. “And you, Mister, are the visual aid for the latter.”

Dialog can show a character’s personality. Bryce Lassiter, the sidekick in Chasing Sunrise is known for remaining calm. Bryce’s easy-going personality is reflected in his pattern of droppin’ the g at the end of words ending in ing.

Bryce caught up. “Where we goin,’ partner?”

When our hero is at a crossroads, Bryce is the steady presence.

Bryce took in the scattered newspaper with several items circled in blue ink and Michael’s empty glass. “Since I’m the only one here still employed, I’ll do the buyin’. What’s your brew?”

Bryce lends a casual air even in the midst of tension.

Bryce peered through the scope. “Somethin’s not right.”

A conversation tag is another tool to add depth to the personality of a character. In Riven by Jerry B. Jenkins, the prison warden commonly answers questions with, “Yanno,” a run together of “Yeah, no.” Yeah, I heard you and no is the reply.

Introverted Matthew Cuthbert, in the Anne of Green Gables feature film answers Anne’s many questions with a phrase that gives him a beat to think. “Well, now,” he draws out as he collects his thoughts. 

Additionally, to keep the story in flow, common filler words are removed from conversation in the editing process. 

• Yeah
• Okay
• Hello
• Good-bye
• Oh
• Well

The exception is when a filler word is used to spotlight a personality trait such as Matthew Cuthbert’s “Well now …” 

In the first draft, dialog may begin with “Hello,” “Oh,” “Well,” or “Yeah,” and end with ‘Good-bye,” but in the editing process, remove these unnecessary distractions that interrupt the flow and pull the reader out of the story. 

How can you use dialog to show, instead of tell, your reader vital information about the personality and background of your character?

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Tips for Writers: When Talking Is Showing, Not Telling from author @PeggySueWells on @EdieMelson (Click to Tweet)

Don't Miss the Other Posts in This Series

WRITING DIALOG WORTH QUOTING
DIALOGUE OR DIALOG
HOW TO KEEP THE DIALOG YOU WRITE FRESH
WHAT TO LEAVE OUT OF THE DIALOG YOU WRITE
TIPS FOR WRITERS: WHEN TALKING IS SHOWING, NOT TELLING

Tropical island votary and history buff, PeggySue Wells parasails, skydives, snorkels, scuba dives, and has taken (but not passed) pilot training. Writing from the 100-Acre Wood in Indiana, Wells is the bestselling author of thirty books including The Slave Across the Street, Slavery in the Land of the Free, Bonding With Your Child Through Boundaries, Homeless for the Holidays, Chasing Sunrise, and The Ten Best Decisions A Single Mom Can Make. Founder of SingleMomCircle.com, PeggySue is named for the Buddy Holly song with the great drumbeat. At school author visits, she teaches students the secrets to writing and speaks at events and conferences. Connect with her at www.PeggySueWells.com, on Facebook at PeggySue Wells, and LinkedIn at linkedin.com/in/peggysuewells