by Edie Melson @EdieMelson
If we look at writing from a numbers point of view, it would be logical to assume that the more words, the better. But writing is NOT a numbers sport, and over writing is the mark of a lazy writer.
It's also something we all do, especially in a first draft. There's nothing wrong with that—as long as we take the time to go back and rework what we've written.
Myth:
The more words the better. Some of the great writers of all time come to mind to support this myth—can anyone say Charles Dickens? But one thing people forget about this great author is he made his living writing serials for a newspaper. Keeping the story going, kept the paycheck coming. Don’t get me wrong, I think Charles Dickens was a genius writer. But his era was very different from ours. Wise writers take that into consideration before using him as an example to be long-winded.
Fact:
It takes more work and more skill to use fewer words to convey the same meaning.
Just in case you’re not convinced, here’s a real-life example. It’s from an article I sold to a home improvement website.
Avoid Over Writing Articles
Long-winded version:
An epoxy floor covering for the garage can be a really good thing. It can increase the value of your home and make keeping the garage clean and organized easy. But there are downsides to this option.
We have all gotten the advice that doing something right the first time is the best way. This saying is definitely true when it comes to applying an epoxy floor covering to the garage. When the epoxy floor covering is applied by a qualified professional it can last a lifetime. But if you don’t find a quality product, and a qualified installer the outcome of this project can end up costing you cash instead of saving you. This article will give you everything you need to make the best decision when it comes to adding an epoxy finish to your garage. (138 words)
Tightened version:
We’ve all heard the axiom, “Do it right the first time.” This was never more true than when it’s applied to epoxy flooring for the garage. This floor covering can last a lifetime, when applied by a qualified professional. Or it can last less than a year, if you chose the wrong product and installer. We’ll give you all the information you need to make an informed decision. (68 words)
Because of space constraints, the word count was absolute. I had to deliver an informative article in 420 words or less. That meant I had to cut everything that wasn’t absolutely necessary.
What had to go (and why):
In the long-winded version of the article, I have a nice lead-in paragraph. It’s not bad, but it’s also not necessary. The tight version manages to give the same information in just under half the word count.
In the long-winded version of the article, there are also lots of repeated words. Not only is this sloppy writing, but it’s also irritating to read.
Tightening up an article is one thing, but what about fiction?
Avoid Over Writing Fiction
The same principles hold true. It's never a good idea to slow down a good story with unneeded verbiage. Here’s an example from a scene I wrote for a cozy mystery:
Long-winded version:
She got out of bed and paced around the room, taking deep breaths and willing her heart rate to slow. She’d read somewhere it helped with panic attacks, but it certainly wasn’t doing her any good. Glancing down at the phone still in her hand, her finger shook as it scrolled through previous calls. Her pacing slowed to a stop in the middle of the room. This couldn’t be right. None of the numbers were familiar. (76 words)
Tightened version:
She got out of bed and paced the room, taking deep breaths and willing her heart rate to slow. She’d read somewhere it helped with panic attacks, but it certainly wasn’t doing her any good. Her finger shook as it scrolled though previous calls. Her pacing stopped. This couldn’t be right. None of the numbers were familiar. (57 words)
What had to go (and why): In the long-winded version there are several phrases that could be cut because her actions implied them.
Pacing implies around the room. No one can pace in one place.
Her Finger shook as it scrolled through previous calls implies she was glancing down at the phone still in her hand. She's got to be looking at the phone to do this.
In the long-winded version, I slowed down the action in a tense scene with the phrase, her pacing slowed to a stop in the middle of the room. It's much stronger to just say, her pacing stopped.
As you can see, no matter what you're writing brevity is pure gold. Take time to go back over your words, evaluate the effectiveness of each one and keep only the ones you need.
How about you? Are there any redundant phrases you see in books or articles that irritate you?
Don't forget to join the conversation!
Blessings,
Edie
TWEETABLE
Edie Melson is a woman of faith with ink-stained fingers observing life through her camera lens. She’s a writer who feels lost without that device & an unexpected speaker who loves to encourage an audience. She also embraces the ultimate contradiction of being an organized creative. She knows the necessity of Soul Care and leads retreats, conferences & workshops around the world on staying connected to God. Her numerous books, including the award-winning Soul Careseries & reflect her passion to help others develop the strength of their God-given gifts. Her blog, The Write Conversation is recognized as one of the top 101 industry resources.
She and husband Kirk have been married 40+ years and raised three sons. They live in the foothills of the Blue Ridge Mountains and can often be found hiking—with Edie clinging to the edge of a precipice for the perfect camera angle and Kirk patiently carrying her camera bag and tripod. Connect with her on her website, www.EdieMelson.com and through social media.
Featured Image: Photo by ThisisEngineering RAEng on Unsplash
I love these examples, Edie. We writers are a wordy bunch and learning to trim words is a skill that takes practice.
ReplyDeleteGreat advice, Edie. It reminds me of the quote by Elmore Leonard: "I try to leave out the parts readers skip."
ReplyDeleteLong-winded... reminds me of cooking blogs. The reader just wants to get to the recipe, but the blog host has to tell their life story, the story of the recipe, and everything else before they give the reader the actual recipe.
ReplyDelete