Truth in Love

by Tammy Karasek @TickledPinkTam

When we say we are speaking truth in love we need to pause and think that through. Are we really, speaking truth? Are we really speaking in love? Scripture does teach us that in order to have unity in the Body of Christ, this is what we must do:

Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up 

into Him who is the Head, that is, Christ. Ephesians 4:15 (NIV)

The above scripture is giving us the perfect example—Christ. When we do speak truth to someone with love in our reasoning, then it shows our maturity in our faith walk. We show that our concern is out of love, not of criticism or judgment. 

Often, however, people use this scripture as permission to say what they feel and put this phrase over it as if it makes it okay. They may think they are speaking truth over someone, but in actuality they are doing nothing more than giving their opinions or passing judgment. 

This can be very dangerous and possibly a road not easily traveled for all involved. Feelings are hurt, tempers flare and relationships can be injured or even severed. Others stuck in the middle witnessing the exchange can be put into a position they should not have to be in. 

When judgmental words are spoken without facts, this would not be truth in love, just an uneducated opinion. And more often than not, an unsolicited comment. On the flip side of that is when something should be said, the scripture below is very clear—a wise heart guides the mouth and promotes instruction. Take the time to gather the facts before presenting the case.

A wise man’s heart guides his mouth, and his lips promote instruction. Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones. Proverbs 16:23-24 (NIV)

Writing is the same. Words said cannot be undone. This reminds me of a Sunday School lesson I taught years ago. The concept wasn’t mine—so I don’t take credit for that—but the impact it had on me as an adult was huge. I thought my fifth and sixth grade girls would be able to understand it. Speaking words is similar to pushing toothpaste out of the tube. Once the paste comes out, it can’t be put back in no matter how hard you try. If you change your mind, it’s too late. Just like words, written or spoken. Once they are out, they can’t be taken back. 

Yes, apologies can be offered and forgiveness can be asked for, but the words are forever out there. Forgiveness can be given, but it’s not always easy to forget. And once said, the damage is done. 

My suggestion is that all of us would be slow to speak or write. That we would think our words through. With our writing, over and above a proofreading for grammatical errors, what is the message I’m extending to my readers? In speaking face to face, if we feel the need to say something to someone, pray over it first asking God to show you the appropriate words and time to do so. And in front of others is never the best time. 

If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace 

with everyone. Romans 12:18 (NIV)

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You’ll find Tammy seeing humor and causing laughter in every aspect of life. Her past, filled with bullying and criticism from family, is the driving force of her passion to always encourage others and give them The Reason to smile. She’s been married to her college sweetheart, Larry, for 37 years, a mom to their grown daughter, Kristen, and wrapped around the paw of a little dog named Hattie. Born and raised in Ohio, her family now resides in South Carolina. She is the President of Word Weavers Upstate SC, member of ACFW and My Book Therapy/Novel Academy. She’s the Blog Editor for Word Weavers International. A Conference Assistant for Blue Ridge Christian Writers Conference. A monthly contributor for The Write Conversation. A contributor in the 2018 Divine Moments Compilation Book—Cool-inary Moments. Also a regular contributor to several other blogs. 

Connect with Tammy: Blog:http://www.tammykarasek.com  Email: tickledpinktammy@gmail.com