Conquering Six Enemies of Deep Point of View

Jessica (@AuthorKeller) here: Today my friend and critique partner Amanda is here to share some tips on writing in Deep POV. Amanda's debut novel Seek and Hide released YESTERDAY **tosses confetti** and let me just tell you, this book is amazing friends. Amazing.

Conquering Six Enemies of Deep Point of View

by @AmandaGStevens



 

So you know the rules of point of view (POV), the difference between first and third person. You understand what writers refer to as “deep POV.” You’ve decided you want to write that way, offering your reader an immersive experience in the thoughts and senses of your character. But when looking at your scenes, how do you know you’re writing deep? And if you’re not, how do you start?

Thursday Review—Rivet Your Readers with Deep Point of View

by Lynn H. Blackburn

I love summer. I love the break from the routine and the slower pace. But it sure has messed with my writing and reading time.

I need to keep writing, keep honing my craft, keep reading (both in my genre and out of it)—but my little ones also need things. Things like food, clean clothes (which they think magically appear in their closets), trips to the pool, and play dates with friends.

So I picked a couple of super short reads for my summer “craft” books. For July, I chose Rivet Your Readers with Deep Point of View by Jill Elizabeth Nelson and I think you’ll enjoy this selection for several reasons.

1. It’s short (59 pages). I read it on my iPod Kindle app in one morning that also included cuddling with a sick little boy, building multiple towers out of a variety of blocks, doing laundry, changing diapers, and singing the same song eleven times.

2. It’s to the point. This little book is all about Deep Point of View. That’s it.

3. It has exercises. I love exercises. Not so much the kind that involve sweat and pain. But give me a nice worksheet and a freshly sharpened #2 pencil and I’m a happy girl.

4. It’s full of examples. I love examples. For example (from page 29) . . . 

• Shallow POV: She wondered how she would get through the next day. 
• Deep POV: How could she possibly survive the next day?

See the difference?

5. It’s fun to read. I’ve never read any of Jill Elizabeth Nelson’s work before now. But I’ll be checking out her fiction because I enjoyed her voice.

6. It answered some frustrating questions. Have you ever wanted to toss your laptop and drown your sorrows in a pint of Ben & Jerry’s as you try to eliminate words like wondered, thought, felt, and saw? Well, this little gem could improve your prose and your hip-to-waist ratio…all for $2.99!

What are you waiting for?

It’s your turn . . . what’s your favorite POV to read or write?

Don’t forget to join the conversation!

Blessings, 

Lynn

Lynn Huggins Blackburn has been telling herself stories since she was five and finally started writing them down. She blogs about faith, family, and her writing journey on her blog Out of the Boat. Lynn is a member of the Jerry B. Jenkins Christian Writers Guild and the Word Weavers, Greenville. She lives in South Carolina where she hangs out with three lively children, one fabulous man, and a cast of imaginary characters who find their way onto the pages of her still unpublished novels. She drinks a lot of coffee.

That's Deep, Man

3 Tips on Deep POV Part 2

by Michelle Massaro, COTT Assistant Editor

Last week we defined Deep Point Of View, and I shared 3 tips for using it in your writing:

Tip 1: Don't label emotions, describe them.

Tip 2: Pretend it's you (find realistic internal dialogue)

Tip 3: Add physiological responses

Today I'm going to answer a couple related questions and walk you through an example.

Let's get to it!

Q: What about scenes that aren't emotional? How does that work?

A: Every scene is emotional to an extent. That's what Deep POV is all about. Emotions come in many flavors. They aren't all as bold as terror or grief but they are always present.

Example: You character is finishing up in the office and looking forward to a special date with her boyfriend. Your scene intends to move her from her desk, out to the car, arriving at the restaurant. Not much action. You want to get her to the restaurant so you can write the next good scene. Right? So you might say:

--

Mary finished entering the final receipt into the accounts payable file. She was eager to get to the restaurant where Tom would be waiting. She was sure tonight was the night. She heard a knock on the door. Mr. Jenkins asked her to deliver a stack of envelopes to the mailroom on her way out. It would be a quick stop. Slightly irritated, she smiled at her boss. "Sure thing!" She hoped nothing else would pop up to delay her.

--

Or you could go deeper and make it more interesting:

--

Mary hit the enter key and sighed. Finally done! She glanced at the bouquet of roses on her desk, inhaled their sweet scent, and smiled. Just half an hour—twenty-five minutes if she hurried—and she'd be sitting with Tom at Le Cordon Bleu, watching his knee bounce and sweat bead on his forehead as he tried to conceal the velvet box in his pocket. Good thing she'd worn her best dress today. Thanks for the heads-up, Tina. She slipped her feet back into her red heels, reached for her matching Gucci clutch and stood. Her stomach fluttered with a thousand bees and she reigned in the squeal forming behind her grin. A rap sounded at the door, then Mr. Jenkins strode in with a pile of envelopes. Her smile fled. Crud.

"Mary, I need you to drop these off in the mailroom on your way out." He plopped them on the desk. Just great.

"Sure thing!" She forced a fake smile as she snatched up the stack.

She could do this in less than a minute—if she didn't get sucked into a conversation with Larry the mail guy. Her heels clacked down the hall as she power-walked to the elevators. After this, she better not run into any more delays between her and her car. Or her car and the restaurant. If she hit every red light on Buckner drive today she was going to have some serious words with the Man Upstairs.

--

You'll notice there were few physiological responses here (tip #3), because the emotions aren't as raw. But we are much deeper in her POV than in the first example and you can better imagine what it's like to be Mary, anxiously trying to get to the restaurant where you expect a marriage proposal.

I used tips #1 and #2 .

In the example passage, I showed Mary's eagerness (tip #1) with the line: Just half an hour—twenty-five minutes if she hurried—...

I showed her expectation by picturing Tom bouncing his knee, hiding the ring, etc. and hinted that someone had spilled the beans to her. (tip #1) All of this instead of "she was sure tonight was the night." I answered the question WHY is she sure, and WHAT does "the night" look like? How does this make her feel?

I demonstrated her hope that nothing else would slow her down by using realistic internal dialogue (tip #2) about Larry the mail guy, the red lights, and Who she'd blame (playfully) for them. So I accomplished tip #1 by employing tip #2, which is not uncommon.

I only added one quick physiological detail (tip #3) by describing the excitement like bees buzzing inside.

Q: If a writer must choose between deep POV and using a passive verb, which is better?

Ex: A knock sounded at the door, She heard a knock on the door, or There was a knock on the door.

A: The short answer is "it depends". I am not one to slash every passive verb. Not at all. Writing tips are only useful to the extent that they make the experience smooth and engaging to the reader. The moment a rule-following phrase becomes so odd that it causes the reader to stumble, that rule should be ignored.

Same thing applies with Deep POV. Depth can vary as needed. Think of it like a camera lens with a zoom function. We don't need to be zoomed all the way in for every paragraph of your novel. But don't pan out too far or you'll lose that Deep POV feel. Stay in your character's head, but the reader doesn't always need to read about every synapse that fires. Reserve those meticulous details for the tenser moments.

So if you are zoomed way in on a character during an intense moment, the first choice (A knock sounded at the door) is probably better. But if the moment isn't quite so personal, the third choice (there was a knock on the door) might work just fine. Or you might choose an in-between feel (She heard a knock at the door). Once you've assessed the depth needed for the scene, it's your call. As long as you understand the techniques you are using and why.

Deep POV is only one tool in a writer's box. It's not a strict rule like punctuation. As the author, you choose when and how often to embrace this style. But you must understand the techniques you are using and why. I hope these tips help you the way they've helped me. If you have a question, feel free to comment or send me an email. I'd love to hear from you!

Michelle Massaro is a homeschooling mom and aspiring novelist. She is Assistant Editor for the literary website Clash of the Titles and writes for their Blog Alliance. Michelle also serves on the worship team and teaches origins science to the youth at her church. She and her husband of 15 years live in sunny So Cal with their four children. Connect with her on twitter @MLMassaro, facebook (https://www.facebook.com/MichelleMassaroBooks), and her blog Adventures in Writing (www.michellemassarobooks.com)

That’s Deep, Man—3 Tips on Deep POV Part 1

by Michelle Massaro

A lot of people are talking about Deep Point Of View these days. Seems every writer wants to go deeper, but many aren't clear on what that means or how to do it. Where did this trend come from? Think about it. Our culture is immersed in experiential pastimes. We can hop a plane and visit exotic locations around the globe within hours. Surround-sound, HD, and Digital 3D bring everything to life. The Wii allows us to "experience" bowling or tennis. With increased sensory-engaging technology, it takes more to help us escape than it did in generations past. In fiction this translates to Deep POV.

The reader wants to "try on" someone else's life. To climb into a character's skin—tasting, feeling, hearing, smelling what they do. Using a great metaphor or simile won’t suffice. Deep POV isn't simply active voice or showing rather than telling either.

So how do you employ Deep POV? Let me provide some tips and examples. Snack-size morsels you can chew on and digest at your own speed.

Tip #1: Don't use labels.

 Don't label the emotions of your character, describe them.

Example: (sadness)

She felt sad

becomes:

Her throat clamped and her chin quivered. She blinked away the tears threatening to escape.

This is also true when describing the character's thoughts.

Example: (hate)

She thought how much she hated her ex-boyfriend

becomes:

She closed her eyes and saw him—felt his fist striking her jaw, smelled his cologne when he hissed in her ear. Bile rose in the back of her throat at the memory. He would pay.

Tip #2: Pretend it's you.

What would you say to yourself if you were the character? Figure it out, then replace the pronouns with "s/he" (unless you're writing in first person, of course.)

Example:

Someone very close to you died suddenly. You don't say to yourself "I feel sad" or even "I feel depressed and confused." No, more likely you think:

"How can he be dead?!" or perhaps "Matt, how can you be gone?"

Example:

There's an intruder in your house brandishing a knife. You don't say in your own head "I'm terrified!" You'd think:

"He's going to kill me!" You can turn this to third person in one of two ways: He's going to kill her! or Was he going to kill her?

Tip #3: Physiological Responses.

Once you figure out what the character would say to themselves and how to describe (show) an emotion without labels, follow up with physiological responses. Depending on the situation, these might be knees buckling, chest tightening, throat clamping, an adrenaline rush, goose bumps, stomach cramps, tears, nausea, dizziness, heart pounding in ears, sweating, etc. Describe those. This will really pull the reader deep into the story, particularly in those high-intensity moments.

All right love, off you go!

Remember, Deep POV is a skill that must be learned just like anything else. (And we're always learning.) But remembering these tips as you write is a great place to start. Next week in Part 2, I'll apply these tips to a non-pivotal scene and turn it from an invisible transition into an engaging passage. I hope you'll join me. Don't forget to stop by Clash of the Titles this week to meet our three COTT finalists!

Now let's hear from you: What do you like/dislike about Deep POV? Do you have any tips to share? Leave your questions and tips in the comments!

Michelle Massaro is a homeschooling mom and aspiring novelist. She is Assistant Editor for the literary website Clash of the Titles and writes for COTT's Blog Alliance. Michelle also serves on the worship team and teaches origins science to the youth at her church.  She and her husband of 15 years live in sunny So Cal with their four children. Connect with her on twitter @MLMassaro, facebook (https://www.facebook.com/MichelleMassaroBooks), and her blog Adventures in Writing (www.michellemassarobooks.com) 

The Unwritten Contract

Did you know that you have a contract with your reader? You do.

UNWRITTEN CONTRACT

Party of the first part – from here on referred to as THE READER
THE READER agrees to suspend belief and enter the fictional world that’s been created.

Party of the second part – from here on referred to as THE WRITER
THE WRITER agrees to do everything possible to facilitate their remaining, undisturbed, within that world.

What exactly does this legal jargon mean? Let me explain. Have you ever been reading a book or a story and something startles you and you realize you actually felt like you were IN the story? It’s almost like an alternate reality or a dream.

I once attended a workshop by Ron Benrey where he referred to it as the fictional dream. (He has a great book, The Complete Idiots Guide to Writing Christian Fiction.) I’ve also heard it referred to as the fictional bubble. Well, this fictional dream is a good thing for the reader and we want to avoid doing anything that can jar them from this dream world. Trust me, there are plenty of things in the real world to jar them awake. It means that there are certain things we do or DON’T do, when we write, to make it easier for the reader to

• Use correct grammar. Glaring mistakes can jar THE READER awake, making them wonder why they agreed to read you story.
• Make your Point of View (POV) shifts clear and seamless. When you change POV make certain you have a good reason for doing so.
• Use unobtrusive attributions, like said. Even better, use a speaker beat. Vonda Skelton had an excellent explanation of this on her blog post last week.
• Avoid overuse of misspelled words to indicate dialect. A little is fine, but once THE READER has the character’s voice in their head, continuing makes the dialogue difficult to read.
• Avoid italics when possible. An occasional italicized word for emphasis is fine, but thought after thought in italics is hard on the eyes. Instead, try to write deeper from the character’s POV. This is sometimes called Deep POV.
• Use all five senses when you write. This will bring the story to life for THE READER

Following these simple guidelines can make it easier for THE READER to immerse themselves in our story.

Don’t forget to join the conversation!
Blessings,
Edie