From Edie: Feeling stuck in your writing career? Discover how to stop comparing your journey to other writers and find purpose and progress in the waiting.
When Your Writing Career Feels Stuck: What to Do When Other Writers Are Moving Ahead
By Edie Melson @EdieMelson
I don’t think there are many (actually any) people who read this blog who think publishing is easy. But within that difficulty, there’s a particular kind of hard that comes with watching someone else get the thing you’ve been praying for.
Especially when that someone is a friend.
We really are happy for them. We celebrate when they sign with an agent. We cheer when they announce their first book contract. We whole heartedly share their cover reveal and buy their book.
But sometimes, after the celebration is over, there’s a quiet little voice that whispers, “What about me?”
I know that voice well because I’ve heard it.
When I first began writing, I thought my path would be publishing books. But God had a different path for me. I watched writing peers move ahead of me. People I’d started this journey with—and even some who started after me—signed contracts while I was still waiting.
And waiting.
And waiting.
I'd love to tell you I handled all of that waiting with perfect grace and unwavering faith.
I did not.
There were times when I wondered what I was doing wrong. I wondered if I wasn't talented enough. I wondered if I'd misunderstood God's call to write. And yes, there were moments when someone else's wonderful news made my own lack of progress hurt even more.
Eventually my first book contract came. If you want to hear about how it came about and why it was the BEST first book ever, visit this blog post: Exceeding Abundance. It was written the day after my first book launched. That first book did come, but it came much later than I wanted it to.
Looking back now, with the perspective that only time can give, I've realized something important.
My writing career wasn't behind. My writing path—orchestrated by God—was mine and mine alone.
That's a lesson I wish I'd learned much earlier.
Someone Else's Success Isn't Proof of Our Failure
Comparison is sneaky.
We don't usually sit down and deliberately decide to compare ourselves to other writers. Instead, it creeps in while we're scrolling social media or talking with friends at a writing conference.
- She signed with an agent.
- He got a three-book contract.
- Her book won an award.
- His newsletter has 20,000 subscribers.
- She was invited to speak at that conference.
And suddenly we're doing math. She's been writing four years. I've been writing seven. He started submitting after I did. She doesn't have nearly as many social media followers as I do. I've written more books than he has. Why them and not me?
The problem with that kind of math is that writing careers aren't equations.
There isn't a formula that says if we work hard for X number of years, attend Y number of conferences, and receive Z number of rejections, a publishing contract will appear.
I wish an equation like that did exist.
We can do everything right and still have to wait.
Waiting Doesn't Mean Nothing Is Happening
This may have been the hardest lesson for me to learn. When I didn't have a contract, I felt like my career wasn't moving. But it was.
- I was learning.
- I was writing.
- I was building relationships.
- I was becoming more teachable.
- I was discovering my strengths and weaknesses.
- I was learning the publishing industry.
And, although I couldn't see it at the time, I was becoming the writer I would need to be for the opportunities that eventually came. That's the problem with waiting. We tend to measure progress only by visible results.
Contract.
Agent.
Book.
Award.
Sales.
But some of the most important progress in a writer's life happens where nobody can see it.
Sometimes we're developing the skill we'll need five years from now. Other times we're making a friendship that will become important later. We discover later that we needed to learn how to recover from rejection.
Sometimes God is working on our character while we're asking Him to work on our career. None of that looks impressive in an announcement on social media. But that doesn't mean it isn't important.
Don't Turn Someone Else's Milestone into Your Deadline
This is something I wish every writer could understand. Another writer's success doesn't start a clock for us. When our critique partner signs with an agent, that doesn't mean we need to find one by the end of the year.
When someone from our writers group gets a contract, that doesn't mean we're falling behind. When a writer younger than we are publishes her fifth book while we're still trying to sell our first, it doesn't mean we've missed our chance.
The writing life isn't a race, even though it sometimes feels like one. There isn't a prize for getting published first. And there's certainly no rule that says the person who gets published first will ultimately have the most successful—or fulfilling—career.
Let Someone Else's Success Teach You Instead of Torment You
This was a shift I had to make.
Instead of asking myself why this happened for them and not for me, I learned to ask better questions.
- What are they doing that I can learn from?
- How did they improve their craft?
- How are they building relationships?
- What opportunities did they pursue?
- How do they handle themselves professionally?
- What can their journey teach me about mine?
Notice something important here. Learning from another writer is different from copying another writer. Their path isn't a blueprint for ours. But it can contain clues.
The writers around us can become an incredible source of wisdom when we stop viewing their success as evidence that we're failing.
Be Careful What You Believe in the Waiting
Waiting has a way of making us believe lies. We hear whispers that lead us to believe things that aren’t true.
- You're not good enough.
- You waited too long to start.
- Publishers don't want what you write.
- Everyone else knows what they're doing.
- You've missed your chance.
- Maybe God didn't really call you to this after all.
Those thoughts feel especially convincing after another rejection. But feelings aren't facts. A rejection tells us that one particular project wasn't accepted by one particular person at one particular time. That's all. Rejection doesn't get to make a pronouncement about our talent, our future, or our calling. We must be very careful not to give temporary circumstances permanent authority.
Keep Doing the Work in Front of You
One of the best things we can do when our careers feel stalled is return our attention to what we can control. We can't control whether an agent offers representation. We can't control whether an editor takes our manuscript to committee. We can't control publishing trends, acquisitions budgets, algorithms, sales numbers, or bestseller lists.
But there are things we can do. We can write and continue to learn. We can revise and submit again. We can also continue to build genuine relationships and encourage other writers. And the best thing we can do become better at what God has called us to do.
There's tremendous freedom in focusing on our assignment instead of someone else's outcome.
The Wait May Be Preparing You for More Than a Contract
This is the part I couldn't see when I was waiting for that first book contract. At the time, I thought the contract was the destination. It wasn't. It was one step.
My writing journey went places I couldn't possibly have predicted during those early years. Opportunities grew out of other opportunities. Relationships became important in ways I never anticipated. Things I learned during the waiting became things I could later use to encourage and equip other writers.
And some of the disappointments I desperately wanted God to remove became part of what prepared me for what came later.
I don't say that lightly.
I know waiting is hard—truthfully it is still hard. Watching friends move ahead when we're still standing in what feels like the same place is hard. We don't have to pretend it’s easy.
But I've lived long enough in this industry to know that careers rarely make sense when we're looking forward. They make much more sense when we look back.
Your Career Isn't Late
If you're watching other writers announce opportunities you've been praying for, here are some things that have helped me:
- Really celebrate them.
- Turn off my computer.
- Take a walk.
- Talk to God.
- Have a good cry.
And then come back to your own work. Because their good news didn't change your assignment. Their contract didn't take yours. Their success didn't use up the available success. And their timeline says absolutely nothing about yours.
I had to wait longer than many of my writing peers for my first book contract. At the time, that felt like being left behind. Instead God had a perfect gift—the BEST First Book ever.
And I now know I wasn't being left behind. I was becoming. And perhaps that's what some of us need to remember during those seasons when everyone else's writing career seems to be moving faster.
Don't confuse waiting with standing still.
Sometimes the seasons when it appears the least is happening are the very seasons preparing us for everything that's coming next.
Now it’s your turn. How do you keep going when you feel like everyone else is moving forward and leaving you behind? Share your thoughts in the comments section below.
Don’t forget to join the conversation!
Blessings,
Edie
TWEETABLE
She and husband Kirk have been married 44+ years with three grown sons and four grandchildren. They live in the foothills of the Blue Ridge Mountains and can often be found with their big black dog hiking the mountains. Connect with her at www.EdieMelson.com and through social media.
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