From Edie: Writing can be lonely. Discover five powerful reasons writers need good friends—and how life-giving relationships strengthen creativity, resilience, faith, and calling. Becky is good friend and has a new book that I'm excited to highlight! Learn more about Friend-Wise: Practical Ideas for Deeper Relationships at the end of the post!
Why Writers Need Good Friends: 5 Powerful Reasons Connection Fuels Creativity and Calling
by Becky Harling @BeckyHarling
I sat looking out the window of my office, trying to conjure up the right word. I was under a deadline, but the creativity just wasn't there. I got up and stretched. I poured another cup of coffee and paced around the house. Nothing. Zip. Nada. Not one creative thought. The house was quiet. Supposedly the perfect setting for finishing a chapter. Yet, it wasn’t happening.
When my phone rang, it startled me, but I was instantly delighted that it was a good friend calling. She invited me for lunch, and though I should have been home finishing my chapter, I agreed to meet her. Our conversation was lively as we ate our salads. We talked about everything from family to faith and the recent funny events that had happened to both of us. By the time I returned home to my desk, it was much later than I had planned to start writing. But my mind felt alive, and my spirit was refreshed.
Reading that opening, you might think, “Well, Becky, you’re an extrovert.” While I lean a little extroverted, I also need time alone. The truth is, all of us, whether extroverted or introverted, need friends. We need time where we are not just staring at our computer screens, but instead enjoying face-to-face connections with others. Close friendships that go beyond social media or the internet are vital for every writer.
5 Reasons Why Writers Need Good Friends
1. Friends are critical for our emotional well-being. Research has taught us that everyone needs people whose eyes light up when they see them. When you make eye contact with someone happy to see you, joy is triggered in your brain. Not only do friends help trigger joy in our lives, but they also help us feel heard, understood, and valued. Just the other day, I was chatting with a friend, and we were each sharing some of the challenging situations we are facing in our lives. It could have been a heavy time, but it wasn’t. We also brainstormed about new projects, about our kids and grandkids, and we shared concerns we both had for the coming days. After my conversation with my dear friend, life’s burdens felt lighter. I had a bounce back in my step and I felt energized once again to step into the places God has called me.
2. Friends keep us connected to real life. Not all of my friends are writers. I have friends who are executive assistants, friends who teach music, friends who are nurses, and friends who work in other industries. Each of these amazing friends helps me stay connected to the real world. Just the other day, I had lunch with a dear friend who is not a writer. As we ate our salads, we talked about our marriages, our dreams for our grandkids, our Bible reading plans, and a host of other topics. I left lunch feeling light-hearted, inspired, and connected to the real world.
3. Friends help us stay resilient. Let’s face it, the writing life includes pressure, deadlines, and rejections. We need friends who can keep us buoyant when our dreams for a best seller go belly up! Those who provide a buffer when publishing houses, agents, or acquisition editors don’t understand where we’re going with our manuscripts are critical. Our friends help us to see beyond the success of the next book. They anchor us in the storms of life and remind us that there is more to us than just the manuscripts we create.
4. Friends guard us against depression and loneliness. Spending all day, every day in front of a computer screen is not good for our mental well-being. As a result, many writers wrestle with depression and loneliness. The National Library of Medicine has confirmed that too much time in front of a computer screen harms your physical health, your mental health and your overall well-being.[1] We were created for life-giving relationships and being together. Get out and have lunch with friends or take a hike with a friend. Gather a few friends and host a charcuterie and conversation evening or a game night. Our souls were designed for connection. In fact, one school of research has determined that “spending time with friends you like increases your happiness as much as if you had a $133,000per year raise”![2]
Wouldn’t you love that kind of advance on your next book? Likely not possible! But you can get the shot of happiness that would go with that by spending time with friends. If you’re under a deadline, spend the time and finish your manuscript, but then put your computer away and get out with friends!
5. Friends encourage us to laugh and be real. Laughter is so good for our souls! I love it when I’m out with friends, and we get laughing hysterically about one story or another! Laughter is so good for us, and yet, as writers, many of us take ourselves far too seriously. We tend to worry about that next deadline or if books will sell, yadda, yadda! We need to lighten up and laugh with friends! Our friends remind us that there’s more to life than writing and deadlines, and a little laughter goes a long way.
May I encourage you? Don’t isolate yourself to write! Cultivate good friendships. Find those with whom you can enjoy life. Listen to each other and pray for one another. I guarantee your life will be richer no matter what happens to your writing career.
Why don’t you contact a friend today? Meet for lunch, ask how she is doing, and then pray together.
TWEETABLE
by Becky Harling
A friend loves at all times. Proverbs 17:17
Friendship is one of God’s greatest treasures. Joyful moments are sweeter with a friend. Hardships are born with greater courage—and even humor—when a friend is at your side. And when tragedy strikes, our friendships often go deeper. But while we were designed for relationships, they aren’t always easy.
Sometimes it’s difficult to know the best way forward—when and how to strengthen a strained friendship or when it’s better to let go. In Friendwise, Becky Harling takes us to the fount of wisdom—the Proverbs—to guide us in cultivating stronger relationships with our friends and families.
Becky teaches friendship skills, sharing wisdom on: Loyalty and guarding your heart. Contentment. Vulnerability. Forgiveness. Generosity. Advice. Encouragement. Criticism. Envy. Telling and speaking the truth. Apologizing. Trying to impress. Defensiveness. Strength. Dignity. And much more.
Loaded with stories, each short chapter includes relational truths from Proverbs, a reflective question, and a prayer to carry you through the day. The reader’s heart will be encouraged and uplifted as she discovers the richness of wisdom found in Proverbs and becomes Friendwise.
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A best-selling author, Becky Harling has written 16 books. Her most recent book, Friend-Wise, has resonated with women and their need for community. She is a popular speaker at conferences, retreats and other events. Becky is a John Maxwell leadership and communications coach. She has been a guest on many media outlets including, Focus on the Family, Family Life Today, 100 Huntley Street, Moody Radio and the Total Christ Television Today Show. Becky is the host of The Connected Mom Podcast and loves encouraging other moms to connect more intentionally. She loves hiking with her husband, playing with her 14 grandkids, shopping with her daughters, hanging out with her son and having coffee with friends!
www.beckyharling.com
Instagram - @Becky Harling
Facebook - becky.harling
YouTube - @beckyharling9511
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