How to Add Deep POV in a Scene You're Writing

by Sarah Sally Hamer @SarahSallyHamer

Getting deeply into a character can be one of the hardest, but most necessary, ways of creating character and many people struggle with getting deep Point of View (POV) right. Deep POV is usually what the reader can't really know about a character unless it's in a thought, but there are other ways to allow our characters to express, 1) dialogue, 2) body language, 3) action, and 4) thoughts when in the POV character.

1. Dialogue, of course, is pretty obvious. When two or more characters share a conversation, we have the opportunity to really dig deep into what they think, since it's coming out of their mouth. Of course, like people, characters don't always say what they're thinking.

2. Body language can be hard to describe in a story, but there are dozens of books (writing and non-writing related) that can help. Characters, again like people, reveal a lot of secrets by the way they walk or sit or even smile.

3. Action is a tiny bit different in my mind. Yes, it's a form of body language, but it's also the movement of emotion. We move for very specific reasons—otherwise, we'd be still all the time. So, what a character is thinking makes all the difference in whether they march across a room or dance their way across.

4. Character thoughts, which are only expressed when you're in that particular character's POV, are the best way to show deep POV, simply because you're squarely in that person's head. We can't tell the reader what Joe is thinking unless we're in Joe's emotions. Emotions can express through all four at once, but we can't tell what a character is FEELING unless we're thinking their thoughts with them.

Of course, we don't need all four of them at once or even at all. Dialogue, for instance, isn't always needed in a scene. But, without one or more of the points, a character is going to be pretty flat. What we want in a story, at least at some level, is for our writing to grab the reader by their collar and drag them into the next page. The purpose of deep POV is exactly that—to give the reader enough information about a character to entice them to read more. 

To see which of the four points you're using, you can take each sentence or phrase in a scene and break it down by which of the four tools you are using, and evaluate how balanced they are. Evaluating very important sections, like the first two or three pages, can immensely help us to examine our own thought process and style and see how it can be improved.

Okay, so that all being said, please don't think that you need to add volumes of information to include enough deep POV. Sometimes three or four words can fix something that seems like an overwhelming problem. A few tiny—and I want to re-emphasize the word TINY—tweaks can make all the difference. 

Maybe you could add a miniscule amount of emotion. Here's a quote from one of my WIPs. It's a YA historical adventure:

Zibiah reached for the next higher bough and climbed quickly, her weight on the branches setting the almost-ripe apples swaying. She wished that she could be like Jack and ascend her beanstalk to another world where, even if a giant threatened her, it would be better than life on the ground without her best friend, Rebecca.

The emotion is strong—Rebecca has drowned in an accident and Zibiah is devastated. We need to know that she's not climbing the tree for fun and the thought behind it shows her emotional state.

Here's another small piece. Zibiah's teachers are trying to get her out of the tree but she knows she's be punished for what she's done and doesn't care that she'll be kicked out of her school:

A red haze filled Zibiah’s vision, the whooshing of her heartbeat filled her ears and, without volition, without thought, without truly meaning harm, the apple left her hand with a force fueled by blind rage.

Can you see that we're entirely in her deep POV? Do you have any doubt that she's on the edge of hysteria? And there's just a small bit, enough to let us into her mind. There's no dialogue but the other three points are as up front and center as I know how to make them. (Please excuse me using my own work but I know what I did and why and it makes it easier to explain.)

So. How do you create deep POV? Where's the most important place to put it?

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How to Add Deep POV in a Scene You're Writing from @SarahSallyHamer on @EdieMelson (Click to Tweet)

Sarah (Sally) Hamer, B.S., MLA, is a lover of books, a teacher of writers, and a believer in a good story. Most of all, she is eternally fascinated by people and how they 'tick'. She’s passionate about helping people tell their own stories and has won awards at both local and national levels, including two Golden Heart finals.

A teacher of memoir, beginning and advanced creative fiction writing, and screenwriting at Louisiana State University in Shreveport for over twenty years, she also teaches online for Margie Lawson at www.margielawson.com. Sally is a free-lance editor and book coach, with many of her students and clients becoming successful, award-winning authors. 

You can find her at info@mindpotential.org