A Cross Road in the Life of a Writer

by Edie Melson @EdieMelson

Then Jesus said to his disciples, If any of you want to be my followers, you must forget about yourself. You must take up your cross and follow me. If you want to save your life, you will destroy it. But if you give up your life for me, you will find it (Matthew 16:24-25 CEV).

“Take my life and let it be, consecrated all to Thee.” 

The words to that old hymn recently transported me back in time. Many years ago, I hit a crossroad with God. I knew He’d called me to write—in my heart I knew—but all around me everything was rejection and heartache. I’d been so thrilled when God whispered that calling. It felt . . . right. I’d barely heard the words when I began mapping out my future. I knew He’d want me to write Bible studies and teach and speak—bringing His Word to His people. My vision was full of me and how I’d impact His kingdom. But looking back I can see I was focused on my glory, not His. 

Then came the struggle. And finally that night when my dream, and what I thought God had promised, lay in shattered pieces around me. I spoke my frustration to God that dark evening out loud, and shook a metaphorical fist toward Heaven. “I didn’t ask for this gift of writing—this insane compulsion. Why make me suffer for it?” 

Even before the echo of my cry died away I knew it for the lie it was. I remembered an earlier time in my life, when I’d committed myself to God, asking Him to do what He willed with my life. And now I complained because He had? I’d known what that commitment meant and the suffering that would come. How could I have ever thought suffering would be easy or martyrdom pleasant?

That night at the crossroad, I surrendered to a different writing future. My new future was one where I didn’t second guess God’s plan, but kept my gaze locked tightly on Him. I chose to trust Him and believe that He knew what was best for me, no matter what.

That was the night I died—died to myself and my own dreams of glory—and began to learn how to live for Him. It was when I learned that to be truly His in every way means giving up my every way.

I didn’t know if God would resurrect me as a writer. Only time held that answer, but I had to come to a point where I committed to His will—even for my writing. Did I care? Oh I cared; I desperately cared. My dreams, my hopes, my ambitions had been tied to my writing. But I was making the decision to turn all of that over. From that point on, I vowed that I’d do my very best to turn my ambition into emptying myself so that I could be filled with God. 

I changed my wish for God to make me look good because I work for You into make me look any way You choose because I’m totally Yours.

It was a true Cross Road.

So how has that worked out? The story isn’t finished, but many years have passed since that dark night. The journey hasn’t been easy, and my publishing career doesn’t look much like I originally imagined. My life hasn’t taken the path I thought—it’s taken one that’s been infinitely richer than I could have ever imagined.

God has taken me places—physically and spiritually—I wouldn’t have dared to dream about, and I dreamed some pretty big stuff. Only He could have accomplished so much. 

Many of you are where I was—second guessing your calling because it doesn’t look like what you thought it would. I urge you to stay the course. Let me Pray for you.

A Prayer for a Writer to Move Forward

Surely the Sovereign Lord does nothing without revealing his plan to his servants the prophets (Amos 3:7 NIV).

Dear Lord, I find myself at a decision point in my writing life. I heard Your call and began this journey. I felt like I had a clear vision of where we were headed. But although I see the goal, it might as well be a million miles away. There are too many obstacles between me and where I thought You wanted me to go. Show me where I’ve gone wrong. I’m ready to stop striving and listen to what You have for me.

I feel like I’ve been wandering in the wilderness and unable to make any progress. Today I’m asking for clarification. I need to know that all the time I’ve spent hasn’t been wasted. Give me concrete examples of how You’ve used this journey. 

I had such high hopes and none of them have come to pass. Show me where I need to readjust my expectations. I’m tired of being so focused on what I thought was my destination, that I’ve lost sight of You. I haven’t meant to drift away from You, but every time I try to make forward progress, I end up leaving Your side. Help me understand what’s happening. Empty me of my expectations—and even my dreams. Give me a clear vision of how to walk with You through this writing journey. Amen.

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Edie Melson is a woman of faith with ink-stained fingers observing life through the lens of her camera. No matter whether she’s talking to writers, entrepreneurs, or readers, her first advice is always “Find your voice, live your story.” As an author, blogger, and speaker she’s encouraged and challenged audiences across the country and around the world. Her numerous books reflect her passion to help others develop the strength of their God-given gifts and apply them to their lives.Connect with her on her WEBSITE, through FACEBOOK, X (FORMALLY TWITTER) and on INSTAGRAM.

Content from Soul Care for Writers, published with permission from Bold Vision Books, Inc,.