How Writers Can Tap into the Emotional Heartbeat and Connect with Readers

by Sarah Sally Hamer @SarahSallyHamer

How do we include more emotion in our stories? By digging deeply into the characters and understanding what they FEEL. Right? Easy peasy. But is it all that easy? Almost every writer I've worked with struggles with how to create more emotion. So, here are some tips that might help.

Check out the number of times you use the word, "was."

If you use it a lot, you may need to evaluate whether you're "telling" instead of "showing". Telling looks like this:

Zibiah was scared.

Showing looks like this:

A tremor of anxiety chased its way into her stomach and she gaped up at him, her mouth unable to form coherent words.

"Was" is a lost opportunity, basically stripping away any ability to show the reader how your character feels. And by simply using visceral reactions (body language) as a replacement for the 

"was", you can create a great deal of emotion. 

Dialogue ups the ante also. 

Instead of the "he said/she said" routine, see if you can not only have dialogue that moves the story forward by showing emotion, but also allows you to use an action tag that, again, gives the reader clues as to what the character is feeling.

Here's another part of the same scene:

“I told you, I didn’t take it!” She struggled to stand up on legs that felt like they wouldn’t hold her. “Those boys dropped the wallet. All I did was pick it up like you told me. Let me go!”

Peek into your character's mind.

Actually allow a moment or too, even in an action scene, to show the reader your character's thoughts. 

Zibiah blew her breath out through her lips, wishing she could just kick him and run. But where could she hide on a ship where he wouldn’t find her? 

Here, we see her defiance and then, her self-doubt. She doesn't SAY that she's either defiant ("She was defiant!") or show her doubt ("She was doubting herself"), she SHOWS it within her thought process.

Make sure your characters are connected to universal emotions.

Connecting to the things that all of us feel—hate, anger, love, faith, joy, pain, fear—helps readers connect with your vision of who your character is. You do NOT have to create a character who emotes all over everywhere. Some characters keep their emotions bottled up pretty tightly. But, even then, they still have those emotions. Can you use body language and/or thoughts to show them?

Here's Cole, the main antagonist in Zibiah's story, hungry, angry and completely in control:

For a moment, he let his anger spur him toward disaster. He could reach across the counter and snatch the pie, but the dock behind him bustled with too many people for him to make a quick grab and run. If he left without the pie, he’d get on the ship hungry and there was no telling if he'd find anything to eat for hours. The pie, freshly baked and fat with luscious stuffing, seemed almost connected to the ache in his belly, which rumbled and grumbled. But, if he were caught stealing…

So, we can tell all of this without him actually saying a word. 

These are all universal. We've all been mad or hungry or afraid of loss. It's just a matter of getting your character to express those feelings.

Choose your words wisely

Words matter. 

Find words that work for your particular story and for your particular character, based on their traits. Zibiah, for instance, isn't meek or mild. She's on the trip because she defied a teacher (accidently breaking his nose) and has been kicked out of school. So, how do you think she would feel when she is wrongly accused? She'll be polite, because that's what she's been taught, but she's not going to let someone walk all over her. Her "trait" words might be defiant (we've already found that one to be true), strong-willed, capable (she'll do the job she's been assigned with grace and dignity), curious (which gets her into trouble), and self-doubting. What emotions are going to be her trademarks? Certainly anger and fear when she's completely out of her 15-year-old depth, but also courage and determination. We'll SEE her expressing those emotions and traits as she goes through her Hero's Journey, learning to fight her battles and create the life she really wants.

Cole, on the other hand, will have some of the same traits—anger and defiance—but he also is only out for himself. Think a Han Solo-type character, who has a lot to learn about teamwork and friends. What emotions will he express?

Find your authenticity

Finally, the best way for your characters to express their emotions is for you to find your own genuine feelings and allow them to spill onto the page. Doesn't mean a story you tell has to be only about you. But we pull on our own experiences and emotions to create characters, uncovering the emotional heartbeat of each. So finding those feelings and sincerely allowing them to infuse your writing, can make the difference between a "good" book and a "great" book.

What feelings have you given your characters? How does that make your story better?

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How Writers Can Tap into the Emotional Heartbeat & Connect with Readers, @SarahSallyHamer on @EdieMelson (Click to Tweet)

Sarah (Sally) Hamer, B.S., MLA, is a lover of books, a teacher of writers, and a believer in a good story. Most of all, she is eternally fascinated by people and how they 'tick'. She’s passionate about helping people tell their own stories and has won awards at both local and national levels, including two Golden Heart finals.

A teacher of memoir, beginning and advanced creative fiction writing, and screenwriting at Louisiana State University in Shreveport for over twenty years, she also teaches online for Margie Lawson at www.margielawson.com. Sally is a free-lance editor and book coach, with many of her students and clients becoming successful, award-winning authors. 

You can find her at info@mindpotential.org