by DiAnn Mills @DiAnnMills
Writing a coincidence in fiction often leads to reader distrust. To the reader, it appears the happening is a planned action to accomplish an end.
A story containing a coincidence(s), which is an accident, chance, fate, or serendipitous event doesn’t resonate with the reader. They see the contrived nature. The reader no longer trusts the author and is finished with the story—and probably anything else written by the author. Readers seldom give second chances to an author who has disappointed them. Those readers see no reason to commit time and money to another book only to risk frustration again.
For example:
Don is on his way to the courthouse to defend a man who has been accused of murder. On the way inside the building, Don is stopped by a woman who accidentally spills coffee on his suit.
“So sorry about the coffee spill,” she says. “But I know who you are, and your client is guilty of murder.”
“Why didn’t you come forward earlier?” Don says.
“I didn’t know about the arrest.”
“And you show up today?”
“Yeah, sure.”
“How did you know when to arrive?”
“I took a guess.”
The above conversation looks as though the woman coincidentally spilled the coffee on Don so she could tell him his client is guilty.
Intuition is a hunch, sixth sense, or a gut feeling that something isn’t right, odd, or possibly a fabrication. No reason is given, but the suspicion about something that’s been said or a strange occurrence plays an important role in the story.
The technique resonates with readers who understand and often experience an unexplainable wariness about a statement or situation. In novel writing, everything takes place for a reason, and the event must be beneficial to the story.
In creating intuition, the action or dialogue often foreshadows something that will occur in the book. It’s a promise to the reader that something will rise from the intuition, or the internal sensation that wouldn’t have been written in the book.
A character who experiences intuition is usually established and well-liked. He/she is believable because of what the author has shown in the story about them. The character may be caring, compassionate, heroic, and/or intelligent. Because of the character’s credibility, their dialogue and actions make sense even when the intuition can’t be proven—yet.
For example:
Don is on his way to the courthouse to defend a man who has been accused of murder. On the way inside the building, Don is stopped by a woman who demands his attention.
“Your client is guilty of murder.” She neglects to give Don eye contact. “And I intend to tell the prosecutor.”
“Why didn’t you come forward earlier?” Don says.
“I’ve been busy.”
“And you show up today?”
“Yeah, sure.”
“How did you know when to arrive?”
“I took a guess.” She shifted from one foot to the other.
Don took in her body language. Something about this woman didn’t feel right. His gut told him he’d pegged a liar.
Do you see the difference? In the first example, a coincidental meeting sets the stage for the woman to give Don information. In the second, the woman’s body language gives away the strong possibility of her not telling the truth.
Coincidence or intuition? Which stands the reader test in your story?
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She is the former director of the Blue Ridge Mountain Christian Writers Conference, Mountainside Marketing Retreat, and Mountainside Novelist Retreat with social media specialist Edie Melson. Connect here: DiAnnMills.com
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