What My One-Year-Old Can Teach Us Writers

by Kristen Hogrefe Parnell @KHogrefeParnell 

My little boy celebrated first birthday last month. He’s looking less like a baby and more like a pre-toddler. The crawling and furniture coasting will turn into walking, then running, any day now. 

As I think back over the year, I’m amazed at how quickly time has gone and how much my little guy has grown. In the process, he’s taught me some lessons that apply not only to life, but also to writing as well.

3 Things My One-Year-Old Can Teach Writers

#1: Sometimes, you’re just not ready. Give yourself time and grace. 

I remember the first few times I tried giving my baby solid food. He hated it! At first, I was so worried that he wasn’t accepting it like other babies I knew, and then my mom reminded me that she’s never met a teenager who drinks milk out of a baby bottle.

Of course, she was right. Sometimes, we simply need to grow up a little more. Today, my boy shovels food in his mouth so fast that I can hardly keep up!

As writers, we can grow impatient that we haven’t accomplished a goal or we aren’t farther along on our publication dream. Often, we might just need more time: time to grow in our craft, develop our platform, revise our manuscript, or find a professional (editor, agent, or both) to work alongside us.

Don’t get discouraged by the delay. Be encouraged that somewhere down the road will be your time.

#2: Stop comparing milestones.

As a first-time mom, I soon learned the emphasis pediatricians and parents place on “milestones.” Each month, there’s something new babies are supposed to achieve.

The trouble is, every baby develops at a slightly different rate. Some can say “mama” at seven months, while others might not utter words until around their first birthday. 

My little guy was so focused on physical accomplishments (army crawling to regular crawling to coasting) that he seemed less interested in verbal feats. I spent too much time stressing about babbling and words. When he did start babbling into his tenth month, I felt a wave of relief—and I also felt a little silly for having worried.

Which of us writers haven’t compared our journey to someone else’s? So-and-so signed with an agent or announced a three-book contract. So-and-so won half a dozen awards. Social media certainly doesn’t help the struggle that comes from comparing ourselves or worrying that we’re somehow “behind.”

Just as babies each develop at their own speed, we writers need to accept that everyone’s journeys look different. We need to stop comparing milestones and instead cheer for others’ successes and lean into our own celebrations when the time comes.

#3: You will get bumps and bruises. Get back up and keep going.

We have tile flooring and carpet in our house. Guess which one our boy prefers?

The tile.

And which one is less forgiving?

The tile.

My little guy was climbing the wall (literally) while I was in the kitchen. Next thing I heard was a “splat” and a wail. Mr. Explorer had lost his footing and lay sprawled with his back on the tile, bawling. He’d smacked his head.

I dropped everything to scoop him in my arms and “kiss and make it better.” Wouldn’t you know? Minutes later, he pushed me away to go adventure on the tile again.

We writers know too well the pain that comes from rejection and the red pen. A few months back, I finished some rewrites on my novel releasing this November. I’d gotten some criticism from one of the editors. The words stung, but I also welcomed the chance to improve the story. 

I’m a believer that the bumps and bruises make us stronger and make our writing better. I may not like a tough critique, but I sure prefer it during the editing stage from someone with my best interest at heart than from a reviewer.

Can you relate to these ideas? I hope the lessons I’ve learned from my son encourage you in your journey.

TWEETABLE

What My One-Year-Old Can Teach Us Writers from author @KHogrefeParnell on @EdieMelson (Click to Tweet)

Kristen Hogrefe Parnell writes suspenseful fiction from a faith perspective for women and young adults. Her own suspense story involved waiting on God into her thirties to meet her husband, and she desires to keep embracing God’s plan for her life when it’s not what she expects. Kristen’s books have won the Selah Award and the Grace Award, among others, and her inspirational romantic suspense novel, Take My Hand, is now available. An educator at heart, she also teaches English online and enjoys being a podcast guest. Kristen lives in the Tampa, Florida area with her husband and son. Connect with her at KristenHogrefeParnell.com.

Featured Image: Photo by Susana Coutinho on Unsplash