Wednesday, July 5, 2023

Don't fall Into the TMI Trap on Social Media

by Edie Melson @EdieMelson

For an author, building an online presence that’s both professional and personable can be a bit of a tightrope walk. After all, we’ve all cringed at some of the intimate details shared in ill-considered tweets and Facebook posts. We want to connect with our readers as honestly and as genuinely as possible. But we also want to present ourselves as the professionals we are. I’ve had a lot of writers ask for guidance on where to draw that line.

The good news is that there are some guidelines you can follows. The bad news is, there are exceptions to almost every rule. Each author relates differently in person and to be authentic, we must carry that personal bent into our online presence.

Things to Share
There are some things we all enjoy sharing, whether or not we’re directly involved. That’s where this list fits. It’s not an exhaustive list, but I’m including enough suggestions so you can get a strong idea of what’s good to share. These things shouldn’t make up the majority of your social media updates or blog posts, but sprinkling them in can make you more approachable and even fun.
  • An engagement or a wedding. This can be yours, or a close family member. You don’t want to take up space about a second cousin once removed, but engagement pictures are always fun to see.
  • New baby or grandbaby. Again, we all like to see this occasionally. New life is a reason to celebrate. But with this type of update, like the previous one, a little bit goes a long way. If you want to post an album of photos, that’s fine, but don’t share photo after photo after photo in your news feed.
  • Pet photos and stories. People love their pets. More than that, they love people who love pets. This type of a personal update can give you some good visibility through social media.
  • Exciting news that’s publishing related. This might be a book cover reveal, signing a contract with a publisher and/or agent, even winning a contest.
  • A recipe. Recipes are popular on social media. But if you’re not writing a cookbook, or incorporating recipes in your platform, share sparingly.
  • Prayer requests. I purposely included this at the end of the list because you must be very careful here. First, you need to be aware that people will share what you share, so make sure it’s not confidential and you don’t mind if everyone knows about it. Second, you’re opening a door. Once you share a prayer request, your friends and followers will feel free to share with you. You could be opening a floodgate. That’s not always a bad thing, but it’s a decision you need to make before you share.

Things NOT to Share
  • I hate to even have to say it, but anything that might trigger a gross-out response should always be off limits. This includes everything from descriptions of medical procedures, accidents, trips to the personal facilities and spiders. Yep, spiders. There are a lot of people out there who will freak out at the picture of a leggy arachnid, so post at your own risk.
  • Anything negative about a specific person or company. This doesn’t include rants about generalities, such as taxes. But I’ve NEVER seen an instance where calling someone out publicly ended well for either party.
  • Any update that lets people know your home is vacant. This isn’t something that will offend your followers, but is a danger for you personally. Posting vacation pictures, while you’re still away, is an open invitation to burglars.
  • Any update that shows you checking in someplace. If you want to endorse a place, share why you enjoyed your experience. But for all our sakes, disable location settings that pop up with a map of where you are in your social media feeds.

Bottom Line
Navigating our interactions online is a lot like attending a large party. All the same rules apply.
  • Don’t hog the conversation.
  • Don’t talk about yourself too much.
  • Don’t share things that make others uncomfortable.
  • Don’t gossip.
  • Don’t bash someone’s reputation.

Trust me, you do not want to be the person everyone at the party avoids. Being personable and sharing bits of your personal life online can enhance your overall image. Staying upbeat, encouraging and positive whenever possible will make you someone people want to know, online and off. 


Edie Melson is a woman of faith with ink-stained fingers observing life through her camera lens. She’s a writer who feels lost without that device & an unexpected speaker who loves to encourage an audience. She also embraces the ultimate contradiction of being an organized creative. She knows the necessity of Soul Care and leads retreats, conferences & workshops around the world on staying connected to God. Her numerous books, including the award-winning Soul Cares eries & reflect her passion to help others develop the strength of their God-given gifts. Her blog, The Write Conversation is recognized as one of the top 101 industry resources. 

She and husband Kirk have been married 40+ years and raised three sons. They live in the foothills of the Blue Ridge Mountains and can often be found hiking—with Edie clinging to the edge of a precipice for the perfect camera angle and Kirk patiently carrying her camera bag and tripod. Connect with her on her website, WWW.EDIEMELSON.COM and through social media.


  1. Edie, I always enjoy your posts but this one I appreciate exceedingly. I agree with all your points; especially the one about not posting that you're on vacation while your home is vacant. Anyone can figure out your address these days, even if you take pains to keep it private. Once I was taking a private writing retreat in our Smoky Mt cabin (alone) and posted a few pics of me hiking to a waterfall. That same night, my husband (who was still at our home in Florida) was awakened at 2 am by a noise outside his window and then someone ringing the doorbell. When he flipped on the light and called out, "Who's there?" the person took off running back to his car and sped away. You can bet I never again posted vacay pics until after the fact.

    1. Oh wow!!! Yep, I hear this so often and it's just not worth the risk to me. Blessings, E

  2. Very helpful post. Thank you.

  3. Great tips, Edie. And might I add, to not post pictures of snakes! Just like some people freak out with spider pictures, I freak out when I see a picture of a snake. If I know the person well, I tease that I will call them at 2 a.m. when I'm having a bad dream! I agree that gross medical pictures are also not appreciated. One of my friends posted a picture of her kidney stone! Oh my!

  4. And if anyone is curious why I haven't been keeping up with blog comments the past 3 weeks, it's because I've been traveling. Kirk and I were in Israel for 10 glorious days! Expect to hear all about the trip in future posts!