The Write Conversation: How to Find Encouragement When a Writer Struggles to for Confirmation

A dreaded question a new writer receives when meeting someone is What to you do? The questions that follow often come in rapid succession. “Oh, what do you write? What’s the title of your book? Where can I find it?” And the various comments. "I want to write a book someday when I have time.” Or, “it must be great to sit in coffee shops all day and write lots of books.”

As a writer without a published book yet, it can be a little stressful since invariably the answers given may garner a facial expression that is awkward. A look much like a cross between pity and so you’re not trying. For many years, I’d offer some pittance of stammering not willing to answer that question with the phrase I am a writer.

Ugh.

I struggled to say the truth to them. I know they meant well, but I knew I’d feel self-inflicted embarrassment once I’d said out loud … “I write on my blog, I guest post, I’m writing and editing a fiction serious. I’m not published yet.”

I’ve received the puppy dog eyes, the slight downturn of their lips and the dropping of the chin as they’ve softly said, “Oh, I thought you were a writer.”

Non-writing people have no idea the hours we writers put into getting the words down on paper, then edit and edit to get them to their best prose. To anyone who doesn’t write for a living they think it’s no big deal. Sit down and write. Done.

I love Earnest Hemingway’s quote that I think every one of us who do write have committed to memory: “There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.” I might add to that “…and bleed, cry and stick my tongue out at that taunting cursor.”

Any nodding of heads out there?

I want to encourage you today. I’d like you to join me in the exercise below, please know that I’m work to practice what I preach. I do this exercise often. I need to. I’ll be honest and say that I’m not always a good listener of my own lesson, but the more I do this simple exercise, the easier it has become. Less stressful, too.

Whenever you look in the mirror or your reflection in a window, I want you to say these phrases out loud. Nope, don’t care if there is anyone else around—that’s even better. They need to hear it, too. Ready? Here’s the first one …

You are a writer!

That was easy, right? It’s so much easier lifting up someone else in encouragement. Let’s make it more personal in this next part, take a good deep breath and say out loud …

I am a writer.

What? Can’t hear you, once again only louder …

I AM A WRITER!

Great job. Honestly, this has been a tough one for me after the odd questions and comments I’ve received. But, it’s okay. I keep telling myself, it’s part of the training, girl. Chin up. You can do this.

As I sit down to my computer or my notebook to write, I’m trying a new thing. Maybe this will help you as it’s helping me. As I begin, I say, “I am a writer and now I will write.” Sometimes I have to repeat it a couple of times because the old devil wants to start an argument right then and there, but I don’t want that. It may seem silly, but if it works, it’s worth it. With repetition, we gain a new habit. Chin up, you’re walking in the God-given calling of a writer. Own it.

Answer this question, friends … “Nice to meet you. What do you do?”

Ah, I heard you say it and I believe you. You are a writer. Imagine that—I am a writer, too.

In the comments below, share if you’ve had to overcome the issue of feeling awkward saying you’re a writer without a published book—yet. What tips have you used to be bold and say I am a writer?

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How to Find Encouragement When a Writer Struggles to for Confirmation from @TickledPinkTam on @EdieMelson (Click to Tweet)

Tammy Karasek uses humor and wit to bring joy and hope to every aspect in life. Her past, filled with bullying and criticism from family, drives her passion to encourage and inspire others and give them The Reason to smile. She’s gone from down and defeated to living a “Tickled Pink” life as she believes there’s always a giggle wanting to come out!

When not writing Rom-Com, she’s The Launch Team Geek helping authors launch their books and also a Virtual Assistant for a couple best-selling authors. Her work was published in a Divine Moments Compilation Book—Cool-inary Moments. She’s also the Social Media Manager for the Blue Ridge Mountains Christian Writers Conference, Founding President and current Vice-President of ACFW Upstate SC, and Founding President of Word Weavers Upstate SC. She’s a writing team member for The Write Conversation Blog, Novel Academy, MBT Monday Devotions, The Write Editing and others. Connect with Tammy at HTTPS://WWW.TAMMYKARASEK.COM.

Featured Image: Photo by Eliott Reyna on Unsplash