Saturday, September 18, 2021

What to Do if You're a Perfectionist Writer


by Emme Gannon @GannonEmme

I don’t know if there exists a Perfectionist Anonymous, but if one did exist, I would slink into one of the meetings, hide in the last row and when I couldn’t put off the inevitable, stand up and confess in a soft shy voice, “My name is Emme and I’m a perfectionist.”   

 

My computer files have more than a few works in progress as well as a completed novel and another one that is taking way too long to complete. Some agents have actually dangled the hope of publishing my novel at me, but then pulled back with the words we all hate to hear, “It’s not quite ready yet.” Instead of hope, those words to a perfectionist tell us, “Why did you ever think you could do this? Just give up and save yourself more embarrassment.” 

 

Of course, we who feel we are born to write, don’t really give up. Instead, we raise the bar for ourselves and then procrastinate. Yes, that’s right, procrastination is often a sign that we are a perfectionist. We may postpone our writing until deadline is near. We search our brains for the perfect topic, story, or article and then leave the dishes in the sink, the laundry in the basket, and deny the dog her walk, so that we can begin a writing marathon that miraculously produces on time.

 

Fear of disapproval usually drives we perfectionists. It fuels our desire to produce a perfect work. We deny ourselves the joy of writing the words and stories we are passionate about and, instead, write what we think will gain approval. To continue to try to please others very often brings depression. We judge ourselves and our work with standards too high for anyone to achieve so that we can prove to ourselves we are a failure at writing. We can recognize this behavior in others but cannot see it in ourselves.

 

Oh, what to do with this dilemma we find ourselves in? I’ve painted a dark and foreboding picture that may sound hopeless to escape. Fear not, there is hope and healing for the perfectionist writer. In fact, a little perfectionism is a good thing. Just dip your toe in the water, don’t jump in.


Tips to Overcome Being a Perfectionist Writer

 

Wait to Revise

One way to slide through perfectionism is to not revise until you’ve completed your first draft. Know up front that it will probably be terrible but you’ll also have some good stuff to work with. When you’re finished, start editing. I play movie themes that inspire and keep the words flowing.

 

Write at Least Five Days a Week

Write even if you’re in one of your dark days. Write dark. Give your villain all you’ve got. Write how you feel. Edit later.

 

Don’t Be Afraid to Share Your Work

Don’t wait until you think your work is perfect before sharing it. Fear makes you hide your words. Hidden work never gets finished. Or published.

Be Aware of Negative Feelings Before You Write

Before sitting down to write, flush out all your negative feelings about yourself and compare them with what God’s Word says about His children. Get settled in your mind that you are His beloved. Jeremiah 1:5 reminds us, “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I set you apart.” God created you for good works and called you to write. 

 

Get Involved with Other Writers

Writing is a lonely craft. Join a critique group of writers you can trust with honest feedback, including your fears and frustrations. Be kind to yourself and use bad writing days as steps to improve.

 

Give Yourself a Break

Give yourself a break during the day and get inspired by nature. Take a walk, listen to the birds, look up at the cloud formations in the sky. Realize you are a part of something so much bigger than yourself. God has a plan and every part of you is a part of it. Even your writing.

 

Have Fun

Finally, have fun when you write. Enjoy the process and know there’s really no such thing as a perfect writer or book. So, relax and have fun.

 

Do Your Best and then Send it Out

Now let’s go through our files and dig out all those words and stories we’ve stuffed away because perfectionist us decided the world would laugh if by some miracle they were published. Look at them with new eyes and decide which are worthy of our time to edit and re-write. Then, let’s do it. Polish and push Send.

TWEETABLE

Emme Gannon is a wife, mother, and grandmother who loves to write stories that stir the heart. Her award-winning writing has appeared in Focus on the Family magazine, several anthologies, and numerous newsletters. She just completed her first novel.

14 comments:

  1. Great advice Ms. Emme. "How'd you get so wise sweet lady?", asks the hiding behind the lady in the last row.

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    1. J.D., any wisdom I may have seems to be gained by making mistakes and then asking, "Why did I do that?" Of course, we direct that question to God, whose love for us is so deep, He gladly shows us His perception. If we're really wise, we listen.
      Thanks so much for always sharing your Godly wisdom.

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  2. Excellent advice! Thank you for sharing!

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    1. Thank you, Edwina. Freedom is exposing our faults and learning.

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  3. Thank you so much for these perfect words. You described me as though you were roaming around in my mind.

    Many years ago, as I struggled hour after hour to get something perfect, I heard the Holy Spirit whisper in my heart that God loves to use me, to bless others through me. He sends me out as His messenger, even though I'm far from perfect.

    If He waited until I were perfect to use me, He would never be able to use me at all. I try to keep this in the forefront of my thoughts, but many days I stumble. I pick myself up and praise God that He uses me, in all my imperfections.

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    1. Sherry, your words are so true. We only grow when we admit we're not perfect and need the Holy Spirit's wisdom and direction in all things. Cling to the words the Holy Spirit spoke to your heart. Thank you so much for sharing.

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  4. Great advice. Thank you for sharing this blog with all of us. Such helpful information!

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    1. So good to hear from you, Diane. I'm blessed that this post spoke to you.

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  5. Raising my hand right here! I can’t let a chapter go until it’s a good as I can make it. I drive myself crazy, and it definitely slows me down as a writer. On the plus side, cleaning up my manuscript once it’s complete isn’t too daunting. But still, I wish I could “free” myself to write and move through a story quicker. Thanks for sharing today,

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    1. I'm right with you, Karen. It's a struggle, but being aware of our writer flaws allows us to pull back when we find we're sliding back into our perfectionist ways. It takes longer to break a habit than start one, so yield to the Lord and then be kind to yourself.

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  6. “God has a plan and every part of you is a part of it...”.
    That’s so good Emme! Thankyou.
    Wrote it down - its going on the refrigerator asap. :)

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    1. Thank you for sharing. Never forget you are unique and special to the Lord. Blessings in your writing.

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  7. Ouch. And thank you. I needed this frank reminder as I find myself in the throes of procrastination right this minute. Wonderful post. The honesty and encouragement touches my heart. Thank you again!

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    1. Thank you for your comments, Elizabeth. Procrastination has such long roots and so often is driven by fear. Usually when we procrastinate, we are saying to ourselves, "If I don't do it, I won't fail." Let's be brave and give that thought to the Lord, and jump right in there and do what He is calling us to do. We do the work, but He always supplies in ways we can never imagine. Blessings to you.

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