The Importance of Choosing What’s Enough in Our Lives

by Beth K. Vogt @BethVogt

If we were sitting together in my living room discussing our lives right now … well, I would have vacuumed my house and made coffee.

But I digress.

Of course, we’d ignore my lack of vacuuming. Instead, we’d talk over coffee about what we’re doing. Things we tackle day in and day out, like writing a blog post or a newsletter or managing social media or balancing our real lives with our writer lives. 

Conversation would flow so that we’d talk about what things we have to do in the future. Projects we’ve planned into our regularly scheduled days like a virtual writers workshop or a weekend getaway with our family.

Given time, perhaps we’d be honest about the things we struggle to get done. Finishing – or maybe starting – a manuscript. Sending off a requested book proposal. Trying, one more time, to work on a complicated relationship. (Raise your hand if you don’t have one of those in your life.)

One question lurks behind all our doings and have-to-do’s and need-to-get-done’s: Have I done enough?

We wake up and start each day by making some kind of list – mental, virtual, or physical – of what we want to accomplish by the time we brush our teeth and crawl under the covers again. 

Often, we end the day with some of our tasks left undone. Odds are, even if we’ve checked off everything on our list, we’re dissatisfied with our efforts. (Hello, perfectionism!)

As we close our eyes and drift off to sleep, the question, “Have I done enough?” taunts us. Sometimes I’ve tossed back the covers, gone back downstairs, and worked on a project while the rest of my family slept. 

The question “Have I done enough?” is an unrelenting task master.

Here’s our reality check for today: We will never satisfy the elusive standard of “enough.” But how can we begin to control the demands of “enough,” rather than allowing it to control us?

1. Realize “enough” has a hidden agenda. Enough often means you need to do more – and more is defined by someone else’s standard. You’ve been obeying this internal voice of authority for so long you don’t even realize this person has defined what is enough in your life. If all your doing is based on someone else’s standard, stop. Pray. Seek counsel. Develop your own definition of enough.

2. Put a time limit on “enough.” At the end of the day, when you hear the whisper “Have I done enough?” answer the question this way: “Yes, I’ve done enough for today.” You’re acknowledging there’s more to do, but you’re allocating it to another time frame, which allows you to rest. And rest is an important part of your day – and night – so that you’re energized for tomorrow.

3. Ask yourself “Have I given myself enough grace?” If there’s one thing we don’t give ourselves enough of, it’s the much-needed commodity of grace. We are too often harsh with ourselves, and rarely kind enough. Today, I encourage you to offer yourself more grace … because we can never have too much of that.

TWEETABLE

The Importance of Choosing What's Enough in Our Lives - @BethVogt on @EdieMelson (Click to Tweet)

Beth K. Vogt believes God’s best often waits behind the doors marked “Never.” Having authored nine contemporary romance novels and novellas, The Best We’ve Been, the final book in Beth’s Thatcher Sisters Series with Tyndale House Publishers, releasers May 2020. Other books in the women’s fiction series include Things I Never Told You, which won the 2019 AWSA Award for Contemporary Novel of the Year, and Moments We Forget. Beth is a 2016 Christy Award winner, a 2016 ACFW Carol Award winner, and a 2015 RITA® finalist. An established magazine writer and former editor of the leadership magazine for MOPS International, Beth blogs for Learn How to Write a Novel and The Write Conversation and also enjoys speaking to writers group and mentoring other writers. Visit Beth at bethvogt.com.