Friday, June 28, 2019

Be True to Your Writing Self. Say No. And Sometimes Yes.


By Lori Hatcher @lorihatcher2

The offer I received was a writing dream come true. A major publishing house had read my book on homeschooling and invited me to submit more material. “We’re considering expanding our audience to include homeschooling moms. Would you like to audition for the opportunity to write regularly for us?”

When I saw the company name, I squealed.  It’s true. It’s true. God does open doors in miraculous ways. Writing for this company would provide income, a prestigious credit on my resume, and a wide open door to other opportunities. 

My heart leapt.

Until it didn’t. Over the course of a few days, the butterflies in my belly began to feel like a five-pound burrito.

To help me diagnose what was wrong, I did three things. While I don’t apply this litmus test to every decision, the process is very helpful when I struggle with a major decision.
Prayed.
Talked with my husband.
Sought additional wise counsel.

Pray
James 1:5 is my life verse. 

“If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him.”

It’s my life verse because I need God’s wisdom so much. If left to myself, I often make impulsive decisions or decisions based solely on logic. Both typically leave out God. So I prayed, “Give me wisdom, Lord, and show me your will.” 

Ask Your Closest Confidant
When I talked to my husband, he congratulated me on the offer, knowing how hard I’ve worked and what an honor it would be to write for this publisher. “But you’re the one who’d have to do it,” he said. “How do you feel when you picture yourself spending a lot of your writing time this way?”

His question helped me identify my struggle. What I saw when I looked deeply into my heart, I saw lots of happy memories of my homeschooling years, a fair amount of practical insight I could share, and a profound sense that I’d moved on to other things when my last daughter graduated. I realized, in addition to the time I’d spend writing the material, I’d also have to invest hours researching to be able to create relevant, up-to-date content.

Seek Additional Wise Counsel
The final step was to seek wise counsel, so I called the wisest counselor I knew in the writing world, my then-agent Les Stobbe. I was tempted to skip this step, because I knew what he’d say. “That’s terrific. This is the break you’ve been waiting for. It’ll pay well, look good on your resume, and open other writing doors.”

I was right. 

So I knew I had to come clean. “When I think about doing this, my heart sinks. I’ve already begun to dread it. If the offer had come ten years ago, when I was in the middle of homeschooling, it would be a dream come true. I could easily create content because I was in the trenches. As much as I loved homeschooling, I feel like I’ve graduated and moved on.”

I held my breath, waiting for him to scold me for thinking about declining an offer like this.

When he opened his mouth, he spoke the wise words I’d come to expect from him.

“God doesn’t call us to walk through every open door. If you’re not excited about it now, it’s not going to improve after you say yes. Sometimes he allows opportunities to come our way to help us define who we are and where we’re going. If envisioning yourself as a homeschool blogger makes your heart sink instead of leap, that’s a pretty good indication of where Godisn’tleading you.”

So with grace and gratitude, I declined the offer. I’ll never know if the decision harmed or helped my writing career, but I’ve never regretted saying no. The burrito in my belly vanished and my spirit soared. I felt free.

Since then, the Lord has opened other doors which I’ve been thrilled to walk through (after praying, checking with my husband, and seeking wise counsel). One of the most recent was a write-for-hire opportunity with the very same publisher I declined—on a project that made my heart leap.

This experience taught me to be true to myself, even if it means saying no to a great opportunity. Like the red sequined shoes I considered buying recently, if it looks lovely but doesn’t fit, it will only bring pain and regret.

If you’re at a crossroads in your writing journey, I encourage you to pray, talk to a trusted confidant, and seek additional wise counsel. If an opportunity doesn’t resonate, be true to yourself and the calling God has laid upon your heart. Just say no. You can trust God for what comes next.

Now it’s your turn. Have you been given an opportunity that looked great, but you chose to decline? Leave a comment below and join the conversation. 

TWEETABLES


Lori Hatcher is the editor of Reach Out, Columbia magazine and the author of several devotional books. Hungry for God … Starving for Time, Five-Minute Devotions for Busy Women won the 2016 Christian Small Publisher Book of the Year award. Her most recent book, Refresh Your Faith – Uncommon Devotions from Every Book of the Bible is due out in the spring of 2020.A blogger, writing instructor, and inspirational speaker, her goal is to help women connect with God in the craziness of life. You’ll find her pondering the marvelous and the mundane on her blog, Hungry for God. . . Starving for Time. Connect with her on FacebookTwitter (@LoriHatcher2), or Pinterest (Hungry for God).

20 comments:

  1. Oh Lori, thank you so much for your transparency. Open doors can be stressful. Your words helped clarify a few things for me. May God continue to bless the work of your hands. In Christ, Julie

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    1. Yes, Julie, you are absolutely right -- open doors can be stressful and SCARY!! Father, help us commit our ways to you, seeking you every day for direction and wisdom. Blessings to you, Julie. May God guide and direct your every step.

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  2. Thanks, Lori. You (and Les) are right. Not all doors are made to walk through. :)

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    1. Amen, Robin. But they're so tempting, especially when we work so hard. Lord, guide and direct our paths. Blessings to you!

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  3. Amen Ms. Lori. Sometimes when we are led to say "No" to others, we are in fact saying "Yes" to ourselves and, I pray, to God.

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    1. And therein lies the greatest gift -- knowing that God has created us with his purposes in mind and, if we seek his face and surrender to his will, he will use us for his glory. May we always seek this above all else. Blessings to you!

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  4. I’ve missed so many writing doors in my 20s and 30s, but I wasn’t a praying woman then. This isn’t writing related. But as a Christian, I was asked to be on an adoption board and I didn’t even ask God about it—just turned it down because I was so busy raising my new daughter. That has always stuck with me. You remind me again that seeking God for wisdom leads to glorifying him. Thanks!

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    1. Oh, Renee, I've been guilty of "knowing" what God's will was for me without ever consulting him. One time a group of senior ladies asked me to lead their Bible study. Being the spiritual person I was (ha), I knew I couldn't say no immediately, so I gave the Christian answer, "Let me pray about it," fully intending to wait a few days and say no. Then God convicted my heart that I really should pray about it. When I did, he led me to say yes, opening the door for some of the most delightful years of teaching I've ever had. But don't despair. God's plans are never thwarted. He will fulfill his purpose for you!

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  5. Loir, I've learned to ask God for a clear yes or no. Sometimes I don't understand, but when I sense the answer I feel relieved to know how to proceed. Wonderful story.

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    1. You are a wise woman, Debbie. May He continue to bless the paths of your feet.

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  6. I have learned to pray first and then, give my "best yes" and sometimes the answer is "no". :-)

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    1. Amen, Melissa. You are one smart lady. And isn't it amazing what he leads us to say yes and no to? I'm continually surprised.

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  7. During the process of finding an agent, I was ask if I'd be willing change my manuscript. At first I was super excited. If I did this, I'd land my dream agent. Except I was being ask to take out the main reason I wrote the story. After all of the above mentioned three things, I ultimately said no. I was bummed. I knew I had just passed up the opportunity of a lifetime. But I stayed true to myself and the story God had laid on my heart. Long story short, same agent signed me with my next manuscript and has even decided to submit the first one without the change.

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    1. Amen and amen. What a wonderful example of staying true to yourself and the calling God has placed on your life and writing. Thanks so much for sharing your story.

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  8. Thanks for sharing this, Lori! I follow pretty much the same steps. I appreciate Les's wise words. And I especially like the thought that sometimes these decisions help us clarify God's will and the direction He wants us to go. I used to wonder what some decisions were for, when after much time and prayer spent on them, the answer seemed to be "no." But it makes a lot of sense that those kinds of decisions are just as helpful in guiding us as the "yes" decisions are.

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  9. Barbara,
    I've noticed that the decisions I wrestle most with in prayer are often the most revealing to me. Sometimes they reveal sin that's buried in my heart, other times they define what's important to me. They always require me to surrender my will to God's in faith and trust. I'm so thankful we serve a God who invites us into the adventure rather than just setting us on a path like wind up robots. Hugs to you today!

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  10. "Let peace be your umpire." - Colossians 3: 15
    "In the multitude of counselors, there is safety." - Proverbs 11: 14

    Great post, Lori! Thank you for the wise advice.

    Blessings,

    MaryAnn

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    1. Amen, Maryann. Excellent truth to accompany our conversation. Blessings to you!

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  11. Yes, Lori, I have had opportunities that were offered to me by two publishers who were interested in a children's story I had written. I was honored and flattered that two publishers were offering me a choice to join them but, I after spending time I prayer, talking with my parents and really contemplating the details of the possible "contract", I could see how this was NOT the person for me and my story. It was hard to say "no" but, I had to turn it down. I still desire that book to be published one day but, God will guide and provide at the right time. Great article! :)

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  12. Amen, Diane. In the fullness of time. So often I've seen God knit seemingly disconnected details into the most beautiful tapestry -- usually when I've given up in despair of every seeing a dream fulfilled. And you know what? The end result is usually so much more magnificent and sweet than anything I ever imagined. Press on in faith, friend. The last stitch hasn't been sewn yet!

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