Tuesday, June 25, 2019

9 Tips for Supporting Your Writing Spouse

by Edie Melson @EdieMelson

Today I wanted to share 9 ways to support your writing spouse. Writing is a tough industry, and the support of a spouse can be the difference between success and failure.

This isn’t really a post from what I wish had happened, but ways that Kirk has supported me—all without my prompting. 

Truthfully, I would not be where I am today without his constant encouragement, prayers, and support.

9 Tips for Supporting Your Writing Spouse

1. Let the writer talk it out with you—even when it makes no sense! I can’t tell you how many times I’ve solved a writing problem just by Kirk listening to me. There’s just something about working through a problem out loud that makes it easier to solve. It’s also so much easier to do when you’re not alone.

2. Share the successes. A big part of the reason I even have success is because of Kirk’s encouragement and it means so much when he celebrates with me.

3. Share the successes. No, this isn’t a repeat of the previous number. I mean shout those successes from the rooftop. When I had an article published, Kirk was on the phone to his family and friends, bragging about my success. Now that we’re both on social media, I catch him doing the same thing, and it means the world to me.

4. Become a cheerleader. I know what you’re thinking, I wish I could have gotten a picture of Kirk with pom-poms, too! But you’re just going to have to use your imagination. Trust me, Kirk is the best cheerleader there ever was. And this writing thing is, more times than not, won or lost in your mind. Kirk’s atta-girl encouragement has definitely made the difference between success and failure for me—many times.

5. Give your spouse the respect he/she deserves. Every writer is following a dream and more importantly—God's call.That’s a gutsy thing for anyone to do. They need to be respected for taking a chance and putting it all on the line.

6. Help your writing spouse find the time to write. I don’t care if your writer spouse is retired or a stay-at-home-mom, finding time to write is tough. Help them carve it out of the family schedule so they don’t have to add guilt to the load they’re carrying.

7. Act as a gatekeeper. When I’m on deadline, and even when I’m not, I have certain times of the day blocked off to write. Kirk fields phone calls and runs interference for me during those times so I can be free to work.

8. Help your writing spouse find the money to improve their craft. This means helping with expenses for conferences, classes and organizations. I used to worry about spending family money on my dream, but Kirk gave me a different way to look at it. He told me that neither one of us would begrudge the other money to go back to college. And he said that was how he viewed my writing conference expenses. To him, that was my college, and as I became more successfully, my continuing education credits.

9. Follow your writer spouse’s blog. I don’t care if you ever comment, but surely you can keep up with what’s being written. This is a big deal. I talk to writers almost every day who are amazed and just a tad bit jealous that Kirk follows my blog—without me ever needing to ask him to!

Now I’d like to hear from you. How has your spouse supported you? How would you like for them to support you?

Don’t forget to join the conversation!


  1. Anne supports me at meetings and book signings by handling book sale $$. More importantly, she skillfully intervenes and rescues me from someone very chatty who is holding up a line.
    Jay Wright; Anderson, SC

  2. I can see Mr. Kirk's debut manuscript coming out of this. Great lessons here.

  3. I am very thankful for my husband and his willingness to listen to my story ideas, read my blog posts and always encourage me. :-) He accompanies me to writers conferences and enjoys meeting people.

  4. For years I did 90% of the house work and yard work. No, he wasn't a bum and watching me do it. He worked crazy long hours and it was my way of supporting him. Now that the kids are adults, and I'm working fulltime and writing, the roles have reversed. I'm super grateful that he does the lion's share of the work without complaining. Especially since I'm currently unpublished.

    1. I love the way God works things out. We all have a season!

  5. I think this is something only the spouse can really understand. Yes, a boyfriend / girlfriend may get a bit of it, but until that intimate marriage relationship comes online, it's really impossible to understand.

  6. Also, Steve is a beta reader for me. I think once a spouse sees the work produced and is invited to become part of the creative process, it's easier for them to support the writer.

  7. I am so thankful for my supportive husband--he not only encourages me in all aspects of my writing efforts, but really shares the vision for ministry that Christian writing can be. Really a team effort!