Thursday, May 3, 2018

A Writer's FOMO—Fear Of Missing Out


by Lynn Blackburn @LynnHBlackburn

Have you heard this term? It stands for 
Fear OMissing Out
And if you’re a writer, you probably have it. 

I know I do.

You do all the things you’re supposed to do—you follow the authors in your genre, you follow the agents who represent those authors, you follow the publishers of those authors—and as far as you can tell they are all having a great time and they seem to be together. A lot.

They are teaching at conferences, going to writers meetings, and hanging out at brainstorming retreats and they look so happy and carefree. And your writing buddies? They are with them! They are going to these conferences and they are making new friends, meeting industry professionals, and focusing on their craft while you’re at home. . .
  • Doing laundry.
  • Going to Costco with three small children.
  • Changing your 1,754,234thdiaper.
  • Walking in to your day job.

It’s hard. But you’re a grownup. You’re responsible. You’re sure God has it all under control.

So you stay home, and you do the laundry and the shopping. You go to work and you take care of your family. And you think you’re okay, but then you see that one of your favorite authors is going to be at that conference. The one you’ve already crunched the numbers for and you know you can’t go. 

You can’t.

But you can’t stop yourself from looking at the schedule and then you see that there’s another author—the one who writes what you want to write—and she’s teaching a class on what you want to write.

It would be perfect. Possibly career altering. But you still can’t go.

You know this. You think you’re at peace with the decision. But when the conference opens and your social media feeds are deluged with happy, smiling writer faces.

You might, maybe, cry a little.

Because this was your chance to meet the authors you wanted to meet and to hang out with the agents, and now it hasn’t happened and there’s nothing you can do about it and it’s.just.awful.

Or maybe you’re a real glutton for punishment so when the big awards ceremonies happen, you grab your computer and stuff your face with ice cream while you sit in your pajamas and watch as someone who used to attend conferences with you walks across the stage in a beautiful dress and she wins an award for a published novel. And you’re thrilled beyond belief for her. You really, really are.

But when the awards are over and you close your laptop, you can’t help but ask God if it will ever be your turn.

If, by any chance, this resonates with you, let me share this.

That FOMO? It’s real. It’s painful. And the truth is that yes, you are missing out on the opportunities that were available at that event. But that does NOT mean you are missing out on God’s perfect plan for you. 

If you want to see something interesting, go take a look in your Bible at what God says to the people He has called. Over and over again He says, “Fear not.”

Now, we know that when God calls people to follow him, it almost never looks like they thought it would. His ways are NEVER our ways. 

But they are still good.

I’ve had to remind myself of this lately because I’ve had an opportunity to do something. And I want it desperately. I just know it could be career altering. 

But I can’t do it. 

I haven’t stopped praying that a miracle will occur to change that, but as I’ve been praying about it, instead of God giving me the miracle I want He has chosen to remind me of those situations I mentioned above.

Because, yeah, they really did happen. To me.

And in both cases God gave me something better.

Not right away. Not on my schedule. Not in a 1:1 correlation with the things I had missed out on. But in both cases, He gave me a glimpse into His plan. There was a moment where I heard that little voice say, “Hey—remember that conference you were so disappointed that you missed? Isn’t this better?” And “Remember when you asked me when it would be your turn? Well, here you go.” 

If you’re suffering from FOMO in your writing life, take heart. 

He who called you will surely bring it to pass. It may not be exactly the way you were expecting or hoping, but remember that the original Storyteller, the Creator, the Word made flesh, is the one running this show. And when you’re doing things His way, you might miss out on some things you wanted but you’ll never miss out on what is truly best. 

There is nothing—nothing—to fear.

TWEETABLE


Grace and peace,
Lynn

Lynn H. Blackburn believes in the power of stories, especially those that remind us that true love exists, a gift from the Truest Love. She’s passionate about CrossFit, coffee, and chocolate (don’t make her choose) and experimenting with recipes that feed both body and soul. She lives in South Carolina with her true love, Brian, and their three children. Her first book, Covert Justice, won the 2016 Selah Award for Mystery and Suspense and the 2016 Carol Award for Short Novel. Her second book, Hidden Legacy, released in June 2017 and her new Dive Team Investigations series kicks off in March of 2018 with Beneath the Surface. The second book in the series, In Too Deep, releases in November of 2018. You can follow her real life happily ever after at www.LynnHBlackburn.com and on FacebookTwitterPinterest, and Instagram.

17 comments:

  1. Can only add an Amen and a Thank You Ms. Lynn. For me, without question, the most difficult prayer is "Lord, your will be done. I submit to your plan and not my own Father." Thank you for showing us we are not alone in our thoughts. God's blessing ma'am...

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    1. Thanks, Jim! That is definitely the hardest prayer.
      Thanks for stopping by today!
      Grace and peace,
      Lynn

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  2. Hi, Lynn. You hit the nail on the head. I think we all suffer from FOMO at one point or another. Thanks for the reminder to trust God. Awesome post!

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  3. Good post, Lynn. This is a case of feeling like you're the only one, when we all go through it. God has a plan, and it is a good one cause He is good. FOMO isn't a sin, but it is a pain.

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    1. Yes, Tim!! Love that -" it isn't a sin, but it is a pain" - indeed!!!
      Grace & peace,
      Lynn

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  4. I missed out so many opportunities and it still hurt.
    This post gave me hope.
    Thanks, Lynn.

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    1. I'm so glad, Ingmar. It is HARD to miss out and it definitely hurts. I'm so thankful God is near to us when we are brokenhearted and doesn't expect us to pretend that everything is ok.
      Grace and peace,
      Lynn

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  5. Thank you for this. It hit home for me in many ways.

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    1. Thank you for stopping by today, Barbara!
      Grace and peace,
      Lynn

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  6. This was timely for me because I want so desperately to attend a conference this year, but too many hindrances are preventing that from happening. But I am subscribing to online teaching and webinars so I can still learn and hope and prepare for next year's opportunities. Thanks for the great post.

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    1. Ah - yes. I've been there. You're doing the best thing in that situation - keep learning and keep giving yourselves as many opportunities as you can to be ready whenever God opens that door!
      Grace and peace,
      Lynn

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  7. This resonates on so many levels with me!

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    1. :) I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels this way! Thanks for stopping by, Terri!
      Grace and peace,
      Lynn

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  8. Thank you so much for sharing this, Lynn. I have felt that way many times.

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  9. Thanks for stopping by, Mary!!
    Grace and peace,
    Lynn

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  10. You're so encouraging ❤ Thanks!

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