Saturday, April 14, 2018

Advise Me, Advise Me Not

by Beth Vogt @BethVogt

It’s easier to give advice than it is to take advice, isn’t it? And then again, whether we take advice at all is often dependent on who is offering us their wisdom, right?

Remember that T.V. ad that said, “When E.F. Hutton talks, people listen?” As I recall, a room filled with people would fall silent and everyone would lean in to hear the financial advice of good ol’ E.F.

The question today is: Who’s your E.F?

The people we can trust the most are the people we are in true relationship with. It starts with knowing someone’s values, knowing their heart. And then, if I also know this person cares about me, I mean, truly cares about me in a way such that this person has invested time into our relationship … if I’ve been heard … if I’ve been validated … well, that person becomes my “E.F.”. If they talk, I listen. And yes, I will often write down their advice because that’s just the way I am. Sometimes I quote my “E.F.s” — one of them is my good friend, Wise Guy, who I’ve quoted on this blog before. I’ve even woven him into some of my novels. The man knows truth.

In Your Words: I’ll ask the question again — Who is your E.F.? Who do you know loves you such that you are willing to heed their advice, maybe even write it down? And if you’d like to share some of that good advice, please do!

We all need people who we trust to give us advice -@BethVogt on @EdieMelson (Click to Tweet)

"The people we can trust the most are the people are in a true relationship with." BethVogt on @EdieMelson (Click to Tweet)

Beth K. Vogt is a nonfiction author and editor who said she'd never write fiction. She's the wife of an Air Force family physician (now in solo practice) who said she'd never marry a doctor—or anyone in the military. She's a mom of four who said she'd never have kids. Now Beth believes God's best often waits behind the doors marked "Never." A women's fiction novelist, Beth's first novel for Tyndale House Publishers, Things I Never Told You, releases May 2018.

Beth is a 2016 Christy Award winner, a 2016 ACFW Carol Award winner, and a 2015 RITA® finalist. Her 2014 novel, Somebody Like You, was one of Publishers Weekly's Best Books of 2014. A November Bride was part of the Year of Wedding series by Zondervan. Having authored nine contemporary romance novels or novellas, Beth believes there's more to happily-ever-after than the fairy tales tell us.

An established magazine writer and former editor of the leadership magazine for MOPS International, Beth blogs for Novel Rocket and also enjoys speaking to writers' groups and mentoring other writers. She lives in Colorado with her husband, Rob, who has adjusted to discussing the lives of imaginary people, and their youngest daughter, Christa, who loves to play volleyball and enjoys writing her own stories. Connect with Beth at


  1. Wonderful counsel. Evidence that we are among trusted friends here at The Write Conversation. Perhaps this is why I save so many posts for future reference. God's blessings ma'am.

    1. Jim: Yes, we are among trusted friends here. What a wonderful perspective.

  2. Our mothers give us pearls of wisdom we ignore and turn out to be true in retrospect. I am sure plenty of us feel the same way. "If only I listened".
    Great post, Beth.

    1. Ingmar: It's good that we can still hear the echoes of those "If only I listened" moments, isn't it?

  3. Some people make me mad, and I don't want to listen to them. That's the way I've been at times, but somewhere along in my youth I discovered that God uses all sorts of people to teach us things, and it's a very poor person indeed that I can't learn something from. I'm not saying always, but more often than not I've learned to put 'feelings' aside and look beyond the advice giver. Is it true? I ask myself. Is there some agenda behind this advice? In short I analyze the episode no matter who, because E.F. sometimes wears disguises. It's a wise person that can discern and apply, to sort through the dross and find the gold. Good question; good article. Donevy