Sometimes the
situations we are in don’t change. We look and we look, and there’s no door
marked EXIT.
Okay, yes, I’ll make
this blog post personal.
I’m dealing with
several ongoing situations that, by definition — ongoing, right? —
haven’t changed. Circumstances haven’t budged for months.
Chronic health issues?
Still here.
Strained relationships?
Still here.
Some things I can’t
fix. I can’t demand an end date. I’m on hold … waiting … learning patience,
yes. Or, as Henri Nouwen said: I’m learning to be willing to stay where
I am and live these situations out to the full believing that something hidden
here will be revealed.
Willingness
is an odd combination of faith in God’s presence in the midst of these
difficulties and releasing my preconceived ideas about my life. Holding on to trust and
letting go of expectations. An uneasy balance, that.
One of the things I’ve
learned in all this waiting is to stop being so quick to take the blame for
everything … and to stop being just as quick to cast blame. Shouldering blame
or expecting someone else to bear the burden of blame are equal sins. I’ve
taken far too much credit for far too many problems, which has separated
me from God, from others, and from a true estimation of myself.
Yes, I need to own up
to my wrong actions. But guilt is not a mandatory and I do not need to carry
that weight every time someone offers it to me.
And the waiting
times? That’s often when God does His best work in my life — if I let Him.
In Your Words:
What hidden things have been revealed to you during times of waiting?
TWEETABLE
A nonfiction writer and editor who said she’d never write fiction, Beth is now a novelist with Howard Books. She enjoys writing inspirational contemporary romance because she believes there’s more to happily-ever-after than the fairy tales tell us. Connect with Beth on her website, Twitter, Facebook, or check out her blog on quotes, In Others’ Words.
Beth, Thank you for your timely post. I wait for my son to put into action what he's been taught and says he knows. I get angry when he throws his strategies out the window and gives in to anger and disobedience. The Lord showed me my anger is due to the fact that I cannot control the situation and I am prideful. I expect my son to do something I can't. Complete self control is learned over time. I can't expect my son to learn it overnight. He revealed to me that I am not drawing on His strength and wisdom during the stressful times with my son. I'm glad God revealed the hidden pride and anger. May I not throw my strategy out the window. I must press into God so He can show me the proper way to respond.
ReplyDeleteCherrilyn: It's always good to "see" you here. I don't know if we ever learn complete self-control, but yes, more self-control is learned over time. I appreciate your humble attitude about this situation and the desire to lean into God. Praying for you.
DeleteThis is a timely topic for me as I deal with waiting in my own life, and prepare a message ro share later this month.
ReplyDeleteI feel one thing God has revealed is to embrace today while waiting.
Jeanne: It's true that we all move from one season of waiting to another, don't you think? And yes, we need to embrace today while we wait -- to find the hidden joys and blessings. Praying for you as you prepare your message.
DeleteThanks, Beth. I've learned through my waiting that my love for Him always grows. And most of the time, my love for others grows to the point where I usually stop to see things through their eyes before I react or respond. In my current circumstance and pain, I sometimes can't see the point of it all. Then I notice that I'm more sympathetic toward others in similar situations. And I feel a true affection for them.
ReplyDeleteBruce: You introduced a great thought: the willingness to pray that God would widen my perspective so that I could see through others' eyes before I react or respond. Great insight!
DeleteThanks, Beth. I've learned through my waiting that my love for Him always grows. And most of the time, my love for others grows to the point where I usually stop to see things through their eyes before I react or respond. In my current circumstance and pain, I sometimes can't see the point of it all. Then I notice that I'm more sympathetic toward others in similar situations. And I feel a true affection for them.
ReplyDeleteOh Beth,
ReplyDeleteThis post,coming at this time, is like an arrow showing me to the solution I have been looking for. I stayed in an abusive marriage for 48 years. During that time I felt that I was in God's will for me. I learned patience, I lived through Psalms. I prayed, "How long, oh Lord?" Now, in my deliverance, I am trying to share how the Lord molded me through the journey.
I’m learning to be willing to stay where I am and live these situations out to the full believing that something hidden here will be revealed.
This one phrase tells it all for me.
Thank you for this post.
Sharon: It sounds as if you are comforting others in the way you were comforted during those 48 years. (2 Corinthians 1:4) God is using you to encourage, comfort, and bless others.
DeleteIn all things but in one especially heartbreaking situation (family relationship) Father has shown me / told me time and again that HE is not idle. He can and is doing FAR more than I ever could with my meager efforts or words (OUCH! for a writer!!!) Romans 8:28 is more real to me than ever as I watch—and (continue)—to wait!!! But oh! the glory of the outcome when I finally see it!
ReplyDeleteps, every small glimmer of relationship restored is as a nugget of gold to me, and a token of Father's promise of full restoration.
Robin: Like you, I've learned to trust that God is working even when I don't see anything changing. It isn't up to me to make a person or a situation different ... it's up to me to wait ... and to listen and hear what God is saying to me about my actions or words.
DeleteBeth, God told me that I worried too much. He was right. I learned to give things over to the Lord when they first enter my mind or my sphere of life. It has helped me through the majority of my circumstances. Some of those circumstances have changed; I have to trust Him for the one that hasn't. I believe in what He is doing. I have to wait for Him to perform His deeds.
ReplyDelete"I believe in what He is doing." So much trust in that one sentence -- and it changes everything, doesn't it?
DeleteIn waiting, we learn patience. As Stormie Omartian writes, a person needs "just enough light for the step I'm on." The "light" will show you the way, Beth. Thanks for sharing, and take care of yourself. :)
ReplyDeleteLinda: I've heard that quote from Stormie Omartian before, but thank your for the reminder. Yes, just enough light for the next step ... or, as my husband says, all I need to do is the next thing.
DeleteThank you for this. "Letting go of expectations" coupled with "what are you thankful for?" are the journeys I am walking right now. I find the first the most difficult when I am surprised. When I know a situation isn't going to work out the way I had hoped, I can pray and get tinto the right frame of mind. But when I am blindsided with disappointment, sometimes I fall into pity. Then I pull out lesson #2--what am I thankful for? No matter how disappointed I am, there is always lots to be thankful for. It's a journey, and I'm definitely not perfect at it, but I need to be patient with myself.
ReplyDeleteAnn, you highlighted such an excellent point: the need to be patient with ourselves. So often, we are better at patient with others and we are so impatient with ourselves. And yet, God is longsuffering with us, isn't He?
ReplyDeleteI gave up on writing a few years back and went almost two years without writing a word. During this time I watched writers I'd started with get published and move on with their careers. At first, I wanted to block them all from my Facebook feed because it felt like I was getting hit over the head constantly with all that I'd missed. But after a while, I felt the urge to write again. And this time, I no longer envisioned my books on the NYT bestseller list or grand galas with me receiving all kinds of awards. Now it was about the story, and the reader, and giving God the glory. A couple weeks ago I signed with agent Cyle Young from Hartline. Ten years ago I would have been dancing around the room, sure that I was on my way. Now I see it as simply another step in my journey. I'm happy to sign with Cyle, but now I feel that the real work is ahead of me. It's a shift that I think we all go through. God needs us to write for the right reasons. Until we get there, we'll be stuck in mud.
ReplyDeleteIt's evident from what you've written here, Ron, that God used the waiting time to work in your life. To change your perspective and adjust your expectations. And in God's economy, I believe the writing journey is all about deepening our relationship with Him -- and changing us to look more like Him.
ReplyDeleteThank you for this post. I also have times I struggle with painful, waiting on God. These are usually the times I come out on the other side with a spiritual growth spurt. In marriage it's been loving even when it's hard to love. In writing it's been trusting the words will come even when nothing makes sense.
ReplyDelete