A Writer's Fear

by Lynn H Blackburn @LynnHBlackburn

A few weeks ago, I watched a live Adele concert. The lucky people who filled the venue were an enthusiastic audience. There were cheers, applause, and the occasional sing-a-long when she sang a favorite.

I’m a fan so I enjoyed it immensely, but I couldn’t help but be struck by her vulnerability. She stood on the stage and poured herself into each song, even though she wasn’t sure of the response she would get. At one point, she wiped tears from her eyes and told the crowd how nervous she was and how afraid she’d been that they wouldn’t like her new songs.

As I watched, I kept thinking, “She’s Adele for crying out loud! What does she have to be afraid of? How does she not know that people are going to love it?”

When it was over the cameras followed her off the stage, all the way to a waiting elevator where she threw herself into the arms of her boyfriend . . . and sobbed.

It’s an image I’ve been unable to shake.

Even if you aren’t a fan of her music, it’s impossible to deny Adele’s success. Her voice is instantly recognizable. Her songs debut at number one on the charts and stay there for weeks. Even in this digital age, her albums have shattered sales records.

If Adele is still worried about how her music will be received, what does that say for those of us putting our art into the world for the first, second, or third time?

I’m no expert on what it’s like to live a creative life over the long run, but I can tell you a few things about what it feels like to be new to the publishing game. I’m currently working on edits so I can send my next project to my agent and I’m hoping it will become my second published novel.

I did okay with my first book. I didn’t get hate mail, anyway. Most of my friends still make eye contact and they seem to want to see anther story, so I don’t think they are faking it when they say they liked it.

But I’m scared.

What if they don’t like it? What if I get horrible reviews? What if I get “fan” letters full of advice for how I could have done it better? What if I can’t ever write another book?

The truth is that most days I feel like a fraud. As hard as it was to learn to say, “I’m a writer,” I’m finding it even harder to say, “I’m an author.”

I used to think I was the only person neurotic enough to entertain such notions, but as I watched Adele sobbing in the elevator, it hit me.

It’s always going to be hard.

There is no measure of success that will change that.

There aren’t enough awards or accolades in the universe to make it any easier to be vulnerable. As long as we keep writing from a place of truth, releasing our books, stories, ideas, and poems into the world is going to be terrifying.

Now, as I consider my manuscript and how nervous I am about sending it to my agent, I’m choosing to accept the fear as part of the process. Instead of seeing it as a weakness that needs to be overcome, I’m looking at it as evidence of the pieces of my heart that fill those pages. I’m viewing it as proof that I’m dreaming big dreams.

I don’t know where you are on your writing journey, but whatever your stage is—fiction, nonfiction, poetry—get out there and pour yourself into every word and then hit send.

You don’t have to outgrow your fear to be successful, but you do have to act despite your fear.

Query the agent.

Enter the contest.

Attend the conference.

You’ll never regret it.

So how about you? What “stage” are you afraid to step out on? Have you ever passed on an opportunity because you were scared? Have any tips for handling fear?

Let’s talk about it in the comments.

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There aren’t enough awards or accolades to make it easier to be vulnerable -@LynnHBlackburn (Click to Tweet)

Lynn Huggins Blackburn believes in the power of stories, especially those that remind us that true love exists, a gift from the Truest Love. 

She’s passionate about CrossFit, coffee, and chocolate (don’t make her choose) and experimenting with recipes that feed both body and soul. 

She lives in South Carolina with her true love, Brian, and their three children. You can follow her real life happily ever after at http://www.lynnhugginsblackburn.com.