The Helper

by Sarah Van Diest

"But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all that I said to you.” John 14:26

There it is. Strong and clear. A beam of light; a tone of pure beauty. I see it. It calls to me. It pierces that deep and darkened place in me. It strikes like lightning on my soul. It fuels and ignites. Impassions and inspires, infusing its electricity into my spirit. I could soar. I could fly.

It is music. It is light. It is air and water. It is life.

Intoxicated by this vibrancy, the attachment grows; the longing intensifies. The empty place long covered is revealed, the straw raked back, the debris blown away… hope of its filling floods the air; sundrenched, warm, and brilliant.

Life breaks into the dark, shattering its bleak surface into shards of obsidian dust filtering out onto the wind.

I know what this is. I’ve been here before, but I have forgotten. Forgotten. How could it be? How can life be forgotten? How can the darkness reconstitute itself as if put back together piece by piece? How can my soul allow itself to be blanketed once again by the dank and heavy? It’s as if memory was stolen.

We were given scripture to help us remember. We were told the stories so that we would not forget. But our Father knows us. He knows we forget. And if I am true to the things I have learned then I will see even the forgetfulness of my heart as part of His beautiful story. I will not berate myself for my forgetfulness, but rejoice in His mercy to bring me to a place of remembering. Thank you, Father!

We forget. We fail. We sin. We lose. We undo. We stop when we should go. We don’t when we ought. There is so much that shows that we aren’t and haven’t yet. Is that okay? Do we then look at our lives and say we must be lost, we must be unloved and unlovable? Do we judge the lack in our lives and declare a verdict and sentence?

The more I read my Father’s word and the more I sit at His feet, the more I see His grace and love in, over and through my entire story. When my soil is cracked, dry and barren, He sends His healing salve to restore me. When I am full of the fruit of having walked closely with Him, a nourishing water flows. He is always sending me what I need, no matter what my condition. And those things: the cracked soil and the bounty of fruit, are all part of me. They make up the pieces around which my Father interacts with me.

They show the different characteristics of His love for me.

Like Paul said, should we go on sinning that grace may abound? May it never be… but that is not because He will stop loving us, it is because we love Him.

I am amazed at His love for me, and for us all. Every one of us. His love is like a river flooding its banks, covering all that is, or a deep, soft blanket of snow that falls in the night; everything is covered. And in the morning sun, it all glitters and sparkles the same. There is nothing we must do to deserve His love, earn His love, or keep His love. We are loved. We are precious to Him. We are His cherished children.

“I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the flesh, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me” Gal. 2:20.

Do you see it? We have Christ living in us! That is life! And why? Because of His unstoppable love for us. Do you see how precious you are to Him? Do you remember?

Have you forgotten today? Have you forgotten life? Breathe in deeply, slowly, and remember.

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly” John 10:10.

Sarah has worked in Christian publishing since 2005 as both and editor and an agent. 

Currently, she works with her husband, David, in their agency, the Van Diest Literary Agency. Writing is a growing passion for her as she hopes to bring hope to hurting hearts.