Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Online Etiquette for Authors & Others

by Edie Melson

Recently I’ve been reminded what a small world publishing really is. Even if we don’t actually know each other, it’s likely that we have friends and associates in common. Because it’s such a small world, it’s important for us to all pay attention to how we interact, especially online. What I say and do, doesn’t just affect me. The ripples of my actions spread out and affect many others. So before we go bumping and jumping into the New Year, I thought I’d give us all a refresher in online etiquette.

Guidelines of Good Online Behavior
  • Remember this—what happens online, STAYS ONLINE. If you don’t want someone to be able to dig up the dirt on you, don’t say or do anything online you might be ashamed of later.
  • Know where you are. By this I mean, etiquette varies from site to site online. What flies on Twitter may be seen as cutting or slightly rude on Facebook.  Email to a friend is a totally different animal from email to a business associate. Take time to learn the guidelines for all the sites you frequent.
  • Always play nice. Like I said, it’s a small world. And like any other small world, people talk. Even if they’re not gossiping, people notice things and they ask questions.
  • Be respectful of others need for privacy. If you have the occasion to send a group email, be sure to hide everyone else’s email address unless you have specific permission to share.
  • Don’t spam someone’s inbox. This usually happens when someone starts up a new blog and/or website. The person doesn’t have many blog followers and sends an email to all their friends announcing the new site and asking for support. Once or twice for this is fine. More than that is considered spam.

  • Avoid name calling. I know none of us would ever call someone else a derogatory name online, but we could be guilty of labeling someone incorrectly. It’s important to learn the difference between, unfollowing/unfriending and blocking someone on social media. Although ending an online interaction may sometimes be necessary, be careful how you do it. Unfollowing and unfriending are fine, painful, but fine. But if you take the next step and block someone’s access, especially on Twitter, you can do them very real harm. Twitter gets notice that the person being blocked is a spammer and can take steps to suspend or shut down that account. This is fine if the person being blocked is abusive or a real danger. But be sure that’s the case before you take that step and label them.
  • Assume the best motives in others. Truthfully, there are very few cruel and vindictive people out there. Most hurt feelings come from misunderstandings. It’s important that we give others the same kind of benefit-of-the-doubt we’d like to have.
  • Don’t be a feed hog. It doesn’t matter if it’s bouncing blog post notices on Facebook and Twitter, Google plus updates, or even email, be careful that you don’t send multiple updates to your friends and followers in a short amount of time.
  • Be careful with sarcasm. I have a pretty broad sense of humor, but I have to be careful when I’m writing something out—in email and on social media. I’ve discovered that, most of the time, sarcasm can be misinterpreted online.
  • Exercise the golden rule. Do unto others as you would have other do unto you
Personally, I’ve never run into an instance where I regretted behaving nicely. But there are plenty of times that I’ve wished I could have taken back thoughtless behavior. Now it’s your turn. What sort of things irritate you online? Now’s the time to share!

Don’t forget to join the conversation,


Online etiquette for authors and others – learn howto play nice in the cyber world where we live & work – via @EdieMelson (Click to Tweet)


  1. Good Morning, Edie,

    Great reminders!

    I've hidden some people's posts on my Facebook feed because of - to put it mildly - less than tasteful comments. It's another option to handle these situations.

    Also, before accepting a friend request, I check out their profile.

    Susan :)

    1. Susan, that's an excellent option. Thanks so much for reminding us! Blessings, E

  2. I agree with Susan. I hide some peoples posts on my Facebook feed. (Even some I know personally.) And I also check profiles before accepting friend requests. If it's someone I don't know, or don't have any friends in common, I simply ignore the request. I have had to report a couple of people in the past, but it's rare.

    Blessings and Happy New Year!

    1. Joan, checking profiles is a good practice. Also, don't just look at mutual friends. Some of us have accepted friend requests we regret! Thanks so much for stopping by, Blessings, E

  3. Good advice, Edie. I once read in an email, "Don't put anything online you wouldn't want to defend in court!" A little over the top, but a reminder that we might have to eat the words we write.

    1. Sherry, that's actually good advice! Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts, Blessings, E