Life Lessons—Silence the Voices in Your Head Once and For All

by Edie Melson

As writers we all hear voices. Often times they’re the characters who inhabit the worlds we create. But almost as often, they’re the voices of naysayers, reminding us how horribly we’re going to fail. I call these the You Can’t Voices.

And even worse than the You Can’t Voices, are the voices that try to remind us of all the good things we’re neglecting when we self-indulgently steal time to write. I call these the You Shouldn’t Voices.

Today I’m going to share some thoughts about those last two categories and how to silence the voices in your head.

You Can’t

These voices come from lots of places. They’re echoes of things people have actually said about us and our writing. Here are just a few:

• Critique partners. Don’t get me wrong I am NOT slamming critique partners. The point of critiquing is for us to find out where we’re falling short. I need that, desperately! But my mind is a funny thing. My crit partner can spend an entire page telling me what I did right, and one sentence on where I can improve and my mind latches onto the negative, replaying it over and over again.

• Book Reviews. These little gems can be deadly. Even a fairly decent book review can leave us feeling flat and like we’ve failed. For instance, a 3 or 4 star rating instead of a 5 star. Then there are the deadly 1 star reviews. Randy Ingermanson shared his thoughts about those in a recent post on Novel Rocket and I cannot say it any better than him. If you missed it, here it is, On Reading Your One-StarReviews and Eating Rat Poison. 

• Random People Who Claim You’re Ignorant. Why do I let people that I don’t think have sense enough to come in out of the rain, live in my head? I replay their hurtful comments on my intellect and common sense over and over again. I can decide to listen to their voices or I can evict them. I’ve learned to choose the latter.

You Shouldn’t

As deadly as the You Can’t voices are, these are even more lethal. These are seductive sirens, leading us down the deadly paths of should. These are nothing more than echoes of false guilt, meant to entice us into good and away from God’s best.

If only life were always black and white. It’s easy to tell the difference between what’s good and bad. But the difference between good and best—that’s a tough call—for anyone.

I think the key to combatting the You Shouldn’t voices lies in listening to the call that God has placed on your heart. We all have a different path, a different purpose for our days. Beyond that, our duties change as our lives change.

There was a time when my calling was to motherhood. There was a later time when it was to church ministry. Now it’s to a wider audience. Each of these callings required me to give up something good to get to God’s best.

For example, now that I’m traveling and speaking to a wider, national audience, my ministry in our home church has all but dried up. Am I neglecting my church? I don’t believe I am. (And neither does our pastoral staff, who advised me to back off and let God widen my audience.) God is calling me to something different. Our church isn’t suffering, there are many willing to step into the places I stepped out of. And they’re doing a much better job than if I had stayed, conflicted and disobedient and covered in guilt.

I can spend my life chasing everything—trying to be everything I SHOULD—and failing miserably. 

Or I can spend my life chasing God. 

It’s that simple. Notice I said simple—not easy. But here’s the choice: When I chase after God the stress and the guilt melt away. Why? Because…

• He orders my days.
• He assigns the tasks.
• He equips me to do the work.

The voices still clamor for attention, but this way I just refer them to Him. He’s the one in control. If the ship that is my life needs to change course, God is big enough to do it. There’s no true guilt, no condemnation from God when I seek after Him with my whole heart.

Am I always going to get it right? Of course not. But I don’t have to. God promises to guide and equip me. He’s not sitting in heaven, pen in hand, ready to write down every mistake. He’s here with me, cheering me on. He’s inviting me to join Him where He’s working. If that isn’t a reason to refuse to listen to the voices, I don’t know what is.

So I’m inviting you to lay down those dirty dishes, let the vacuum cleaner rest for an extra week, bow out of another round of committee meetings.

Instead, choose joy.

Choose the joy that comes from refusing false guilt and instead letting God mold you into who He wants you to be. What do you say? Are you in?

Don’t forget to join the conversation!

Blessings,

Edie

TWEETABLES

What voices are guiding your writing journey - the YOU CAN'T...the YOU SHOULDN'T? Refuse them all! - via @EdieMelson (Click to Tweet)

Instead of writing, are you letting voices of guilt entice you into good and away from BEST? via @EdieMelson (Click to Tweet)