From Edie: Lynn Blackburn shares how Christian writers can handle criticism, negative reviews, and difficult readers with love while remaining faithful to God's calling and the Fruit of the Spirit.
How Christian Writers Can Handle Criticism with Love: The Fruit of the Spirit in Publishing
by Lynn H. Blackburn @LynnBlackburn
Fruit Under Pressure - Deadlines, reviews, comparison, the silence after you hit send. Over the next nine months, we'll explore what it looks like to live out the nine aspects of the fruit of the Spirit as we navigate the pressure system of publishing.
LOVE
Let’s start with something I no longer apologize for: I don’t read my reviews.
I learned a long time ago that one-stars have far too much power over me to be healthy. I admire authors who take their one-star reviews and turn them into comedy gold, but I’m not that author. I have a system that allows me to navigate this tender space in a way that keeps me healthy.
But y’all…
In the past few months, I’ve realized that there’s a flaw in my system.
My email.
Recent emails have criticized everything from my marketing to my theology, with one notable email that flat-out accused me of unethical sales practices.
And I will be transparent with you…these emails mess me up. I’ve ranted about them, complained to other writer friends about them, and eventually (yeah…I’m being transparent here) prayed about them.
And then, much to my annoyance, I got convicted about them.
The Holy Spirit…He has some mean timing…and a mean sense of humor.
Why do I say that? Because I got this idea (and do not think for a second that I don’t know it was from Him) that I should write a series of blog posts about the Fruit of the Spirit for writers.
You know that the Fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.
Side note: Coffee, while technically a fruit (really, it is, you can look it up), is not a fruit of the Spirit. I think it should get an honorable mention because it definitely helps me with most of that list…so…do what you will with that.
With a list like that, it only made sense to start with love, but instead of going on about loving words, loving God, loving our fellow writers, what did the Spirit ding me with?
Loving the unlovable reader.
Ouch.
Now, some of you write fiction with an altar call in it and some of you write thrillers where nobody mentions God once. No one gets a free pass. As you’ve undoubtedly already learned, regardless of the genre you write, the path of the Christian writer is a path of intense sanctification.
These people who’ve sent me emails have used their real names. Some woman sat down at her kitchen table and typed several harsh paragraphs to a woman she’s never met . . . about a book!
She isn’t a troll. She isn’t an AI bot. She wanted something from me or from my stories, and she didn’t get it. And, apparently, no one has ever told her that just because she thinks something it isn’t necessary for her to share it. So, she did. With me.
Let’s be clear, I’m allowed to think her email missed the point. I’m allowed to be ticked off.
But my righteous frustration doesn’t give me license to think she’s less than an image-bearer.
The people who lash out toward total strangers are the kinds of people who need love the most. They need Jesus to be more real to them than whatever made up drama they’ve created about fictional characters.
That doesn’t mean they need me to reply or say any of that. In fact, 99% of the time, I delete those messages without replying.
The heart-issue here is mine, not theirs.
It’s a challenging space for me, but when I remember that they’re created and loved by God, it helps me keep my perspective. It also helps for me to remember that this kind of love is beyond my ability. This is fruit of the Spirit.
Now, here’s where it gets hard. (Oh, you thought it was already hard?)
Depending on your personality and temperament, harsh reviews, unkind emails, and painful criticism can all conspire to mess you up. They mess me up. I start second-guessing everything. I question my story ideas. Should I tweak what I have? Should I change what I do?
No. No. Decidedly no. Positively no. No.
Loving our readers, even the grumpy ones, doesn’t mean we cave. Love doesn’t mean we stop writing with one gram less of the honesty and passion we’ve been using. Love doesn’t mean we change who we are called to be as writers because someone didn’t like what we said.
Those actions aren’t love. That’s fear in fancy clothes.
True love, Spirit-filled love, holds fast.
When doubts and questions rear up, typically on the heels of a harsh email that I couldn’t avoid, I remind myself of this:
I will write the truest stories I can write. I will send them out in the world and trust that God will bring them to the people He chooses. If someone doesn’t like my stories, then clearly they weren’t for them. They were for someone else.
Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Even the unlovable reader.
Grace and peace,
Lynn
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Lynn lives in South Carolina with her husband, children, and an overprotective goldendoodle. She writes her novels in between homeschooling, parenting an adult with special needs, watching her boys play baseball, and teaching at conferences. You can follow along with her real-life plot twists by signing up for her newsletter at LynnHBlackburn.com and connecting with her @LynnHBlackburn on social media.
I understand completely. I recently went through something similar but not with a reader. With an actor. It hurts. But you have the right idea. You don't quit. I will only quit when God says it's time. One voice our of the thens of thousands of your loyal followers isn't worth it. If only people understood.
ReplyDeleteLynn, First of all, I'm surprised people would be so mean to send you a hateful, critical letter. Thankfully, I can say I've never received one. Then again, I've not written or sold as many books as you have, so I don't have the notoriety. But if I did receive such a letter, I would not take it with the grace you have. I would probably slip into depression. When we put our books, our words "out there," we expose ourselves to the world. We hope they like us, or get us, or simply accept us and our work. But since we can't please all the people all the time, we should expect different responses from different people. Even two star reviews hurt, and I can't help but read them. I'm consoled by the fact that most of my reviews are higher, so perhaps they balance out. It's still amazing that one person can rave about how good your work is, while another condemns it. But I have to remind myself that God loves those people as much as He loves me, and even though I don't have the capacity to love someone who has been so hurtful to me, I know God does, and I have to turn that person over to Him and pray He'll also soothe my hurt feelings. At the same time, I can be thankful for every good word I've received, and thankful they outnumber the bad. But one step further. God wants me to forgive that person, and I have to ask Him to help me do that. You are wise to realize that the person had a need they wanted filled and were upset that you didn't fill it. So I pray they find what they're looking for in the right place. Maybe some day, they'll have remorse for writing such a mean letter. I love your sense of humor and your steadfast pursuit of writing the story God has given you. Our enemy tries to thwart our progress with roadblocks, but we know the detours. God Bless You and your writing, and may you receive thousands of positive letters. .
ReplyDeleteFear in fancy clothes. Love this.
ReplyDeleteGreat post Lynn. And I can’t wait to read the rest in the series. I wish I’d thought of the idea. But then the Editor didn’t choose me to do it, did He?
Tim Suddeth