The Benefit of Disappointments

by Beth Vogt @BethVogt

Disappointments are unavoidable in life. The question is, what will we get out of our disappointments? How, as Thoreau puts it, shall we be compensated by the discouragements that come our way?

Sometimes we don’t stick around after a setback long enough to receive any compensation. We hurry past the disappointment, eager to find a better moment, a happier experience. And sometimes we’re too busy grumbling and complaining about what happened. There’s no quiet, no readiness in our mind, emotions, or soul to receive any benefit when we’re disillusioned or disheartened.

So what can we gain from misfortune or when we face an impasse? Maybe it’s the lessons we learn, something as simple as “Don’t do that again.” Like “Don’t delete all the messages in your Archive folder in your Gmail account — and then delete them in your trash folder, too. Because that deletes all the email messages in your inbox. Yeah, been there, done that a couple of nights ago. A minor disaster, relatively speaking, but still … )

Or maybe one of the compensations of disappointment is the comfort we receive from others. I’m not talking about the “should have, would have” advice other people like to offer when we face defeat. No, I mean the encouraging words that hold no judgment … sometimes even the silent presence of friends who show up to just be with us.

The important thing is to not turn our backs on our disappointments — to not deny their existence. Only as we accept the hardships that come our way can we then discover everything they have to offer us — if we are quiet and ready.

In Others’ Words: What compensation — something positive — have you received from a disappointment in your life?

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Beth K. Vogt is a nonfiction author and editor who said she'd never write fiction. She's the wife of an Air Force family physician (now in solo practice) who said she'd never marry a doctor—or anyone in the military. She's a mom of four who said she'd never have kids. Now Beth believes God's best often waits behind the doors marked "Never." A women's fiction novelist, Beth's first novel for Tyndale House Publishers, Things I Never Told You, released May 2018.

Beth is a 2016 Christy Award winner, a 2016 ACFW Carol Award winner, and a 2015 RITA® finalist. Her 2014 novel, Somebody Like You, was one of Publishers Weekly's Best Books of 2014. A November Bride was part of the Year of Wedding series by Zondervan. Having authored nine contemporary romance novels or novellas, Beth believes there's more to happily-ever-after than the fairy tales tell us.

An established magazine writer and former editor of the leadership magazine for MOPS International, Beth blogs for Novel Rocket and also enjoys speaking to writers' groups and mentoring other writers. She lives in Colorado with her husband, Rob, who has adjusted to discussing the lives of imaginary people, and their youngest daughter, Christa, who loves to play volleyball and enjoys writing her own stories. Connect with Beth at  bethvogt.com.