Wednesday, January 30, 2013

How Writing Ruined My Wife—Spoiler Alert Gone Mad!


For those of you who don’t know me, I’m Kirk, Edie’s husband. And she’s invited me to take over the Wednesday post here on her blog. Every week I’m going to share some of my own struggles as the hapless husband of a word-loving spouse.

 I used to be a normal husband—with a fairly normal wife—until she chose writing as a career. Now our world is turned upside down. Even though I would never want her to change, there are things I miss.

One of those things is the fact that we can never just watch a movie…or a TV show…or even a commercial. Everything is analyzed and broken down. No matter what it is, I’ve discovered it has a plot, with an inciting incident, a climax and a takeaway.

And she doesn’t just know when it happens—she knows when it’s about to happen—and she’s happy to share.

I discovered the full extent of her intuition as we were catching up on the once-popular TV show, LOST. If I didn’t know better, I’d swear she’d written it. It’s uncanny how she can (and frequently does) tell what’s about to happen.

Uncanny…and frustrating. I happen to like a surprise ending. But I’m coming to realize that’s a thing of the past. It’s spoiler alert gone mad!

The worst is that I’ve become infected with her sense of what’s coming next. I’ve come to realize I’ll never watch anything the same way again—even when she’s no where around.

Yes, ignorance is, in many ways, bliss.

I’d love to know if there are any other suffering spouses out there. If so, leave a comment, or let your wife. I’ve heard there’s safety in numbers!

35 comments:

  1. Edie, great article by Kirk! Kirk, sorry to say, she's not alone! I do the same thing quite a bit! And by the way, just to let you know something I'm sure you already know, you have a precious wife! Love you Edie!

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    1. Jamie, thanks for the support! Truthfully he's very patient with my "spoiler" way of living now! Thanks for stopping by, Blessings, E

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  2. Wow, I expected complaints on the cleaning and the fact that pizza has become a diet staple! I try really hard not to do the stuff you mentioned. . .but I'll admit it can be HARD!

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    1. I have to admit I was nervous about what these posts might contain, but it's been a blast putting them together...uh...together! Thanks so much for taking time to comment! Blessings, E

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  3. LOL, Kirk, welcome to a writer's life...or in your case--a writing wife.

    My husband hates it when I critique movies about their believability factor. He sighs, rolls his eyes and reminds me "It's in the script."

    This column is going to be great!

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    1. Lisa, thanks so much for stopping by. I think we're going to have great fun with this column. It's time way past time Kirk got to contribute in a visible way! Blessings, E

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  4. Kirk and Edie--I LOVE this new column! You're a good writer, Kirk. Must be in the marriage DNA. :-)

    Can't wait to see what you have in store for us.

    Kirk...a writer...who knew???

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    1. Vonda, we didn't know he had it in him, did we! Thanks for stopping by, Blessings, E

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  5. Welcome Kirk! I love your post and I'll make sure my hubby reads it! It'll make him feel like he has a support group out there. Loved the photos, too! Keep it coming. :)

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    1. Sally, thanks for stopping by! Blessings, E

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  6. Cracked me up, Kirk! What a wonderful thing to anticipate every week. Looking forward to it. :)

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    1. Ellen, thanks so much for stopping by!

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  7. Looking forward to Kirk's insight and comments. Have you and Edie ever thought about teaming up to write?

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    1. Pat, I think it's a great idea. Kirk is less sure. Maybe this will convince him! Thanks for stopping by, Blessings, E

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  8. Love this!!! Looking forward to more :-)

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  9. Kirk, it could be worse. My husband and I are co-authoring a trilogy. Comments like "A man would never think that way" and "That's insulting to a woman" pepper our discussions. Most of the time, though, it's huge fun working together. And we're still married …

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    1. Steph, what great encouragement! Thanks so much for taking time to comment, Blessings, E

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  10. I'm already looking forward to next week's post.

    Love the picture, Kirk. :)

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    1. Cathy, we appreciate the support! Blessings, E

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  11. Ha ha ha ha! Love it! Welcome to the writing world, Kirk. (Hi Edie! Love you. See you soon.)

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  12. Yup! I haven't been surprised at anything on television or in a movie in a very very long time.

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  13. What an adorable post, Kirk. My husband would NEVER agree to do something like this (at least I don't think so). Bravo!

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  14. Oh.My.Gosh! How funny. Note to self: do NOT drink Diet Pepsi while reading Kirk's posts.

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  15. I feel your pain.... can't just watch it and let the plot unfold (and maybe catch a nap along the way), have to try to guess...er... I mean analyze whodunit before the story whodunits for me! This is the burden husbands (and wives I guess) of writers bear....

    Sandy's Husband

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  16. My husband laughed as he read this post, Kirk -- in agreement!

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  17. I know my husband (and my sister and my mom) can all relate! Over Christmas we went to see the Hobbit and I broke down the whole movie for my sister - whether she wanted me to or not!! Please let Kirk know that he's not alone - as a writer I feel like watching movies - and reading books - for pure pleasure, are a thing of the past. :)

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  18. I'm the writer in the family, but it's my husband who predicts what will happen in a movie. Watching TV together hasn't caused too many problems; however, my husband will admit he has an issue with the amount of time I spend in front of the computer. Thanks for the post, Kurt. It's helpful for us married folk to get the other half's prospective.

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  19. Every example in this post made me laugh. My husband deals with these exact things. Writers…what to do with them?

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  20. Kirk and Edie,

    Though I'm new to this blog, I'm loving this new article and will definitely stay tuned for more! I must say, learning the art of writing myself, I understand what you mean by surprises are ruined now. I "see" stuff coming in books and movies more often than I used to, although I still retain some of the blissful ignorance since I don't know all the ins and outs of this craft yet.

    I'm sure that, as you're both working on this blog together now, it will add a layer or two to the bond y'all have. :)

    Blessings,

    Andrea Cox

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  21. Oh, I LOVE this idea! Will be a religious reader on Wednesdays!

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  22. Kirk,I enjoyed your blog but must say I plead guilty to a lesser charge. I love to critique commercials but after 18 years my husband has grown accustomed to me serving a few "life sentences" of kudos and/or criticism. It is not unusual for me to take my commercial comments to a higher court to be judged - the commercial chat club at work... that's when the fun really begins.

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  23. LOL! Kirk, you've spoken clearly for many spouses (and children). Not that I ever critique or analyze shows while I'm watching TV!!! (Puts up lightning rod...)

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  24. So funny. I think Kirk may take over your blog, Edie. My husband is snoring while I talk to friends on FB and work on a blog post. He can't understand how I got so many friends, who they are, and why we're interested in each other. A lot of us are writers, that's how, who and why. :) Love this post!

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  25. Ohhh, just last night I sat on the couch and told my husband how the story was going to "play out". He used to hate it, but now he trys beating me to the truth. Naw, he can't think like a writer...he doesn't even like to read! :)

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