When a Writer’s Good Deed Goes Wrong: Finding the Lesson Instead of the Hurt

From Edie: Even kind actions can be misunderstood. Discover how one writer found grace, perspective, and a deeper lesson when a good deed didn’t go as planned.

When a Writer’s Good Deed Goes Wrong: Finding the Lesson Instead of the Hurt

by Julie Lavender @JLavenderWrites

I’ve never been a fan of the saying, “No good deed goes unpunished.” 

Good deeds should be rewarded, right?

Yet, the perfect, unblemished, best-of-the-best, do-er-of-good-deeds (Jesus) warned us in John 16:33 (NIV): “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” 

If anyone knew first-hand what it felt like to have His good deeds unrewarded, it was Jesus. So why should I be the exception?

Here’s what happened to me just last month.

Several times during the year, I write letters to the “at-home members” of my church, those we Baptist used to call “homebound members.” Currently, the list contains more than 30 names. 

Just before Christmas, God gave me the idea to share one of my newest releases, Jumbo Bible Word Search, with the at-home members. My husband and I coauthored the book as an assignment from Penguin Random House. Giving it away seemed like a good idea. After all, the subtitle of the book, Stimulate Your Mind & Grow in Faith, and the ginormous, almost-laughably large print seemed like it would be the perfect fit for the generation represented on the list. (Laughable because the font works well for ME, and I’m not on that list … yet.)

I asked my pastor and Joannie, the person in charge of us letter-writers, for permission to gift my book. Both thought it was a good idea and helped me mark off names of those who wouldn’t enjoy a word search puzzle book.

In early January, I spent the better part of four days calling ahead, then delivering my puzzle books and notes to homes all over town. When someone wasn’t home, I tucked it safely near the front door. Many were home and thanked me graciously.

On the evening of my last delivery day, I received a Facebook call from Mrs. Hart. I don’t even know how to make phone calls on Facebook, and I’d forgotten that she and I were social media friends. Her husband is technically the “at-home member” and is suffering with his third bout of cancer. I had left the book and note in the lounge chair on their front deck.

As the computer dinged, I held my shoulders a tad higher and smiled. She’s calling to thank me for the book.

Mrs. Hart spoke quickly. “As long as I’ve been a member of this church, a deacon has never come to my house.” Her comment confused me, but because my husband and coauthor is currently an inactive deacon, and he hadn’t accompanied me on the delivery. Maybe she just felt the need to complain a wee bit about our church?

“When I lived in California,” she continued, “if a deacon made a visit, he was asking for money.” 

“I don’t know what to do with this,” she added. “I was raised that if you receive a gift, then you’re expected to give one. Now I have to give you a gift because you gave me this book.”

Oh dear. “Mrs. Hart, as I mentioned in the letter, I just wanted to give you a book when it was my turn to write letters. It’s my free gift to you from me and the at-home ministry.”

She spoke a bit more, mentioned a couple of people she’d phoned to tell them about the situation, and continued to reference David.

We ended the call on a positive note—I thought—and I emailed Joannie to let her know what had happened. “Do you think she’s just a little confused?” I questioned. 

“Her husband is a little confused these days, but she’s perfectly fine. She’s in my Sunday School class,” she wrote back. “I’ll call her now.” 

By the time Mrs. Hart finished talking to Joannie, my “good deed” had grown into an even more complicated story full of confusion and unkind, unfounded accusations. She’d directed most of them toward my husband, who’d been in the next county helping my brother on his farm.

Well, that’s the last time I do something like that. I’ve spent four days, a tank and a half of gas, and more than one hundred dollars-worth of books. This is the thanks I get?

When my anger subsided, I cried a few tears before I tumbled into bed. Morning brought new mercies, and I asked God to forgive me for making it “all about me.” My pride had gotten in the way—as it often does—and had risen above my compassion for others.

After my prayer walk—where I remembered to pray for the Hart family—I chose to search instead for the blessings I received during my deliveries. I spent more than half an hour in the den of my former high school English teacher, a 90-year-old woman who is just as sharp mentally, though not physically, as she was back in the late 70’s. 

I visited with a woman a month shy of moving into a nursing home, a precious lady whose home I’ve been in many times back in my teenage years when she and her husband welcomed the youth group over on Sunday nights after church. 

I encouraged—no, let me rephrase that—I was encouraged by the daughter of a woman who’s lived with dementia for the past fifteen years. As her mother napped quietly inside the house, Denise and I visited in the front yard as she shared the struggles of being a live-in caregiver for her mom all those days. 

Starved for conversation, several of the people I visited kept me chatting at the front door way longer than I intended. 

On second thought … maybe my “good deed” didn’t suffer punishment after all. Perhaps I learned the valuable lessons about aging gracefully and showing compassion that God intended. It took a little bit of searching … and several days of driving all over the county … but I’m glad God taught me some JUMBO lessons just when I needed them. 

What about you? Have you ever had a writerly-good-deed go awry? What lesson did YOU learn from the situation?

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When a Writer’s Good Deed Goes Wrong: Finding the Lesson Instead of the Hurt @JLavenderWrites on @EdieMelson (Click to Tweet)

Julie and David enjoy writing together now that he’s retired. The Jumbo Bible Word Search puzzle book turned out to be one of their favorite and funnest projects. They are the authors of fifty books for children and adults.