tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2907737240492304428.post4736749975582227153..comments2024-03-28T16:52:31.923-04:00Comments on The Write Conversation: Feeling Emotional, Don’t Tell Anyone . . .Edie Melsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03902312441667526147noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2907737240492304428.post-51102749338496030732011-07-20T16:39:56.389-04:002011-07-20T16:39:56.389-04:00Thanks Edie! I need a lot of practice, and as I re...Thanks Edie! I need a lot of practice, and as I read through I can see my mistakes....but that is typical me....often I rush through without investing as much thought as I should. I will keep practicing! I love your blog and appreciate the helpful information.Lily Suehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01330051831502898898noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2907737240492304428.post-32656135942918648412011-07-20T16:26:02.417-04:002011-07-20T16:26:02.417-04:00Lily Sue, Bravo for jumping in! You did very well....Lily Sue, Bravo for jumping in! You did very well. I don't have ANY suggestions for the first example, I think it's letter perfect. <br />I do have a couple of suggestions for the second one. You don't need "wildly" because you've done a good job of showing us her emotion and wildly is implied very well. Also, "was moving" is a passive tense, instead I'd just use moved. You also don't need the adverb "menacingly" again, you've implied that already with good writing. <br />Over all - you did VERY well!!! Thanks for chiming in.Edie Melsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03902312441667526147noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2907737240492304428.post-72233709722209322382011-07-20T15:05:49.722-04:002011-07-20T15:05:49.722-04:00I'm very new so here goes-bear with me and I&#...I'm very new so here goes-bear with me and I'd LOVE feedback!<br />Ex. #1<br />Susan's brow furled, unbidden tears slipped down her cheeks as she whispered, "what have I done?"<br /><br />Ex.#2<br />"Hello? Who's there?" Jenny's heart raced wildly as she wiped her palms on her jeans. The noise above was moving menacingly closer. The stairs creaked a warning...where was she to hide?<br />Thank You!!Lily Suehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01330051831502898898noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2907737240492304428.post-40354047990067003562011-07-20T14:37:19.532-04:002011-07-20T14:37:19.532-04:00Ellen, Stacy, & Ashley, I'm glad this post...Ellen, Stacy, & Ashley, I'm glad this post has helped clarify things a little. I encourage you to take what Vonda said to heart--you're all going to be where we are--actually way ahead. And it will come much sooner than you expect!<br />Blessings - EEdie Melsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03902312441667526147noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2907737240492304428.post-29402635290102323362011-07-20T13:10:35.270-04:002011-07-20T13:10:35.270-04:00I have problems with this all the time. Thanks!I have problems with this all the time. Thanks!a.n.g.https://www.blogger.com/profile/03667996517318905980noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2907737240492304428.post-91240715346018161572011-07-20T12:26:48.232-04:002011-07-20T12:26:48.232-04:00I struggle with this. The examples are really help...I struggle with this. The examples are really helpful.Stacy S. Jensenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09646270238659432058noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2907737240492304428.post-68296704340732266592011-07-20T07:45:52.732-04:002011-07-20T07:45:52.732-04:00Edie, this post brings back memories of our early ...Edie, this post brings back memories of our early critique group years. We often struggled with this concept as we were each writing our first books. I remember many days, sitting around the kitchen table, whining about what a silly concept this was--as if we knew what made good writing! <br /><br />And although we both still have much to learn (after all, good writers are always learning how to be better writers), it's such a joy to look back and see the journey we've traveled...step by step, year by year. <br /><br />I'm thankful we both stuck with it!Vonda Skeltonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15709374938210704402noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2907737240492304428.post-18661378202770109212011-07-19T12:14:47.508-04:002011-07-19T12:14:47.508-04:00I'm glad you re-posted it, Edie. A new writer...I'm glad you re-posted it, Edie. A new writer myself, I'm still working on this (I think it's getting better though.)Between you and Vonda,and Pam, I think I'll get there, even though it'll take time.Ellen Andersenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05474986203062305511noreply@blogger.com