Sunday, October 29, 2017

A Writing Crossroad


by Edie Melson @EdieMelson


Then Jesus said to his disciples, "If any of you want to be my followers, you must forget about yourself. You must take up your cross and follow me. If you want to save your life, you will destroy it. But if you give up your life for me, you will find it. Matthew 16:24-25

“Take my life and let it be, consecrated all to Thee.”

I heard the words to that old hymn recently and found myself transported back in time. Twelve years ago I hit a crossroads with God. Even back then I knew He’d called me to writing—in my heart I knew—but all around me everything was rejection and heartache. I’d been so thrilled when God called me to write. It just felt . . . right. I already had my future mapped out. I’d write Bible studies and teach and speak—bringing His Word to His people. I didn’t see anything except the glory.

I railed at God that night, shaking a metaphorical fist toward Heaven. “I didn’t ask for this gift of writing—this insane compulsion. Why make me suffer for it.” Even before the echo of my cry died away I knew it for the lie it was. I remembered an earlier time, when I’d committed myself to God, asking Him to do what He willed with my life. And now I complained because He had? I’d known what that commitment meant and the suffering that would come. How could I have ever thought suffering would be easy or martyrdom pleasant.

But that night at the crossroad I saw a different future. I saw a future where I didn’t second guess God’s plan, but kept my gaze locked tightly on Him. I chose to trust Him and believe that He knew what was best for me, no matter what.

That was the night I died—died to myself and my dream—and began to learn how to live for Him. It was when I learned that to be truly His in every way means giving up my every way.

I didn’t know if God would resurrect me as a writer. Only time held that answer and I had to come to a point where I refused to care. Did I care? Oh I cared, I desperately cared. My dreams, my hopes, my ambitions had been tied to my writing. Now my ambition became the emptying of myself so that I could be filled with God. I learned that didn’t mean “make me look good because I work for You.” Instead it meant, “Make me look any way You choose because I’m totally Yours.”

The Rest of the Story

Why am I sharing this now? Because with the passing of years has come perspective . . . and peace. So many of you are where I was—second guessing your calling because it doesn’t look like what you thought it would. I urge you to stay the course. Place your confidence in a Worthy God. My life hasn’t taken the path I thought—it’s taken a much better one.

TWEETABLE
Thoughts about facing a #writing crossroad - @EdieMelson (Click to Tweet)

25 comments:

  1. I think writing, like any career, requires a daily placing what we have on the altar. How I do want to write, be published and share what I have with others, but also I have to say "Your will be done in my life and I will let you accomplish it the way You want." That can become a struggle unless my eyes are on Jesus. Thank you for sharing your heart.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Barbara, such great insight! Thank you, Blessings, E

      Delete
  2. Can only add an "Amen" Ms. Edie. I too treasure that I am finally "God broke" and useful for His glory. I too struggle with those thoughts of inadequacy, or not "good enough"; and it seems to be a daily battle sometimes. It's when I silently thank Him for His gift and accept in my mind that my heart is doing what He has called me to do that I find the peace to continue in the journey. Thank you so very much for your willingness to share that we are not alone in our struggle. God is with each of us as long as we ask Him to be. God bless!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jim, thank you for sharing your heart! Blessings, E

      Delete
  3. How your words resonate within me. With all the not-so-fun parts of getting older, it's nice to have the 20-20 hindsight to see from where God has brought us. And you're so right. Alas, we're human, and as such will go through times of wishing, of envy, of railing against God. But those times become shorter, less fierce, as the Still Small Voice whispers, "Trust me. The best is yet to come."

    I love following your journey, Edie.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ane, you are such an encourager! Thank you for sharing your thoughts, Blessings, E

      Delete
  4. I needed to hear this today. All the changes I'm going through in writing have been scary and I find myself hiding at times. I need to focus on God and relax, I guess 🙂

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jennifer, change IS scary, even when it’s good! Blessings, E

      Delete
  5. What a beautiful and inspiring post. Fills me with hope. Thank you for sharing your experience.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ingmar, I’m so glad you found encouragement here! Blessings, E

      Delete
  6. Edie, your words are what God whispered into my soul this morning during church. Our passions and Calling have so many different layers and though now I find myself wrestling with the writing call, there was once another one—the call that came first that I’ve had to lay at the cross over and over again. Today was one of those days. So, I’m staying the course and doing only what I know each day. Trusting. And expectant of better plans.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Andy, thank you for sharing your heart! Blessings, E

      Delete
  7. Thank you for your timely post. I have been struggling and you give me hope to continue on the path He set me on. God Bless You.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jann, sometimes those days can really get us down. Thank you for stopping by! Blessings,E

      Delete
  8. God has gifted us with special gift. When I begin to feel that I want to stop doing it and doing something easier, He reminds me that He gave me this gift to use for Him. I only wish I could do more writing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for your inisght! Blessings, E

      Delete
  9. Edie, I can relate so much to what you describe. Thank you for encouraging me!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Martha, I’m so glad to help! Blessings, E

      Delete
  10. What an encouraging post, Edie! I would love to read Part 2 with specifics about where you envisioned yourself and where this path actually led you. I love stories like that! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Karen, you’ve just given me a good idea for a post. Stay tuned for part 2! Blessings, E

      Delete
  11. I love this - I love how you share your heart for God as well as your struggle and honest feelings around your journey. How I relate. Whenever I catch myself saying things like "my writing" it's a red flag I need to surrender it. I love the quote by Mother Theresa, "I am but a pencil in the hand of God." May it be so. Thank you for sharing so beautifully.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Ah hah! You've been reading my mail. But then, I think any writer who God has called will experience these same feelings at some point in their writing career. The Apostle Paul said he had to "die daily." I feel that's true for all of us if we want to be what God wants us to be.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Ohhhh, how I love this. I just kept saying, "Me too! Me too!"

    Thanks, Edie. Another beauty~~~

    ReplyDelete