He must increase, but I must decrease. John 3:30
The past few years I’ve been doing a good bit of public speaking. Since I'm a writer, you might assume that's a good thing. It probably should be, except for one thing—it’s way out of my comfort zone. As a matter of fact, if I wasn’t certain God was asking me to share what He’s doing in my life, I wouldn’t be doing it.
Even the knowledge that I'm being obedient doesn't help a lot. I’m just not comfortable with the spotlight shining on me. It feels wrong—like I’m calling attention to myself rather than to God.
The only way I’ve found to mitigate this feeling is by drawing a clear contrast between the mess God has to work through (that would be me); and the results of His miraculous effort. But for this strategy to be effective I have to be willing to show myself honestly—with all my flaws.
At first that was as scary as the whole up-on-stage bit.
But after a time or two of letting people see through the me I wished I was (and tried to pretend to be) and directly at who I actually was, I discovered something.
I no longer had to keep up the pretense of being spiritual, or an expert, or anything else. Instead, I could just relax and be—resting in whatever God wanted to bring out.
This transparency also took the pressure off those who were watching me. They weren't misled into believing they had to be something they weren't. They didn’t have to start out already good enough to qualify to get better. They could start right were they were.
And in the midst of all this, I realized I had the ability to achieve one of my deepest desires, to be invisible.
Because through this God has taught me that transparent is just another word for invisible.
When I’m truly transparent, God can shine through in all His glory. There are no smudges of me to get in the way.
So my question to you is this. What smudges are you holding onto? Take a chance and join me in the freedom of transparency.