Tuesday, April 9, 2013

The Birth of a Writer

A.K.A. The Moment I Finally Admitted, "I Am a Writer" 
by Laurie Epps

Writing isn't a glamorous profession, but it is fulfilling.
Life often isn't fair. Those who dream of being writers aren't, and those of us who really are writers have to fight to prove it—often to ourselves. Sometimes it's external, due to lack of support from friends and family. Or it's due to the input from those in the industry who sneer at you until your first full-length novel is published. But by and large we are a sensitive, unique, and observant lot. Let me share with you the moments that made me believe I am a writer.


Writers are often portrayed as glamorous. In movies, the writer is romantic, and either the sensitive lead, or the great looking shy guy or gal that has us mesmerized by their good looks. Reality is often cruel. If you're stricken with this urge to write I encourage you to take time for a Google search. Then you'll realize how little writers actually get paid for their craft. Much like other art forms, there is definitely a lot of competition and rejection out there. 

But if you must continue, know that somewhere under a pile of rejection letters a mile high, you'll find one publisher willing to look at and accept your work. But it takes patience. 


I am the little nerd holding the violin in front.
Atlanta Symphony Guild, 1976.
Here's my story. 
I was reading at a young age, so it was only natural that I'd start writing on my own to help me remember what I'd read. My first love was poetry, and I was inspired by a book of poetry I received when I was seven years old. Right away, I started writing the poetry I grew to love.

As I grew, books were my best friends. I spent my summers with my grandmother—a librarian in her small town in Texas. I daydreamed about being Jane Pauley on the Today Show and practiced reciting newscasts into my mirror. By the age of nine I was keeping a journal, and I still keep one to this very day. I wrote my first novel in middle school, but it wasn’t until recently I even considered myself a writer.

Fast forward. 
It was 2006, and we'd just pulled into our new driveway in Simpsonville, SC from Los Angeles, CA. My first few months in South Carolina were filled with optimism and dreams of quiet, simple family life. I hadn't even been here for three months when my first episode with my health happened. I had a massive tumor in my uterus, and I was going to require surgery that spring. My doctor told me that I wouldn't be able to get pregnant after this, so I didn't worry about it. But then it happened. I did get pregnant, and I prayed for a miracle, but didn't get it. This first miscarriage started a chain of events with my health, yielding me unable to work.

What's a girl to do? 
I persevered. I continued to raise my middle daughter, writing nearly every day. As a homeschooler, I got to meet other home-schoolers rather quickly. One of the moms would watch my daughter when I would have treatments as I either dropped her off, or picked her up. Normally, I didn't divulge that I was a writer to anyone. It was very personal to me. But, one day I told her of my writing poetry and journaling ways. Quickly, she recommended that I get in touch with Vonda Skelton. Vonda and Edie Melson, my mentor, directed our local writers group, the Christian Writers Den.

At my computer the day my short story was published 2006
For the next four years I had six surgeries, and three miscarriages. I wrote nearly every day in some capacity. You wouldn't believe it, but I still didn't think of myself as a writer. Vonda used to send this eBlast with lots of opportunities to get published. Edie would call and check on me if I didn't make it to a writers meeting. She's probably the first person who has ever referred to me as a writer, and was my biggest cheerleader when I got my short story "Tea Time With Bammy"  published.

Once my youngest was born, I moved further south into Anderson County. I'd received my associate's degree just before I left California, assuming I'd pick up where I left off, educationally speaking. I toured two colleges when deliberating where to get my degree. I was most strongly considering USC Upstate, and Anderson University. I got accepted into both, but chose to go to Anderson University since it was so much closer to home and had strong Christian values. I signed up for classes as a Public Relations major.

It quickly became apparent that I wasn't going to be a PR practitioner, or at least I wasn't going to get that degree from that college. I was called into the office by the Communications chair, and he told me that I wrote far too well to be practicing PR. This came from a professor who wan't one to hand out compliments. That week I changed my major from Public Relations to Technical Writing. 

Last summer I was selected to appear on Patrick Caneday's blog. Patrick Caneday has always been gracious, professional, and encouraging. Although Patrick was not the first to call me a writer, or to publish something I wrote, he was the first one who delivered the news to me that I was a writer where I heard it, and believed it enough to say, "I am a writer." Here's the link to my short story Drifting In and Out of Light.

Now I'm curious, When was the first time you accepted that you were a writer.

Join the conversation. The Write Conversation.



Laurie Epps is a non-fiction author, essayist, editor, and poet living in Anderson, South Carolina. A seeker of beauty, her is dream is to travel the world one day and tell their many stories. To read more of Laurie's stories visit her Thoughtful Thursday column dedicated to the art of Poetry at: http://1writerlaurieepps.blogspot.com






10 comments:

  1. Laurie, I can relate to your story. I can remember when I first identified myself as a writer. Actually, I didn't...Edie did. It was at her NCompass Writers Retreat a couple of years. We were sitting together at lunch one day and talking about the fact that I didn't see myself as a writer. She had me turn to her and say, "I am a writer." Her response was, "you're now a writer because Edie Melson said so." That's been almost 3 years ago, but to this day I go back to those words. Those may not be significant, but those words changed my life.

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  2. Hi Jamie. Edie is definitely good at that. She has changed my writing, and my life forever. Thanks for stopping by.
    Blessings,
    Laurie

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  3. Laurie, I so enjoyed your story. We had miscarriage/infertility issues too. :) I only started "trying" to be a writer about three years ago. I started calling myself a writer within the last year, after finaling in a couple contests, and after an encouraging friend, who's also a writing mentor assured me I AM a writer. :)

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    1. Hi Jeanne, It is so funny how we all need that validation. When I told Edie I was a writer after Patrick Caneday said it a few times, she said, "I told you were...." and touche, so she did. The irony is that it didn't gel in my mind till an award winning journalist and other writers told me I was. I will continue to write, and I am sure there will be bumps in the road, but we will encourage each other along the way.
      Blessings,
      Laurie

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  4. Although I LOVE to read, I never wanted to be a writer. Only God knew I would do this someday.

    I worked in a hospital for several years before I became an engineer. I was at Johnson Space Center for almost ten years when I was laid off. That's when God began to whisper to me about writing. I told Him there was no way, but He eventually won the argument. Doesn't He always?

    Even though I was filled with doubts, a few friends encouraged to go to the BRMCWC for the first time. God used that conference to confirm His calling and my first book, Storms of Life, came out in Dec, 2010. I still struggle with the idea that I'm a writer, and I can't say I love to write, but I do love knowing I'm pleasing my Father.

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    1. Hi Sherry, Although I love to write, I do relate to your story. I had uterine cancer, and that is what made working so difficult. In the middle of the night I would be awoken to story ideas. These ideas have ranged from poetry, to short stories, to prose. Sometimes I end up with a very different product when I am finished. Often, God uses those painful and confusing moments to just channel through us. As servants of Christ, we have to allow this to happen. When battling cancer my mantra was, "It's not my life, it's God's life." Now that I have faced a recent divorce and academic overload in college it is being slightly altered to, "it's not my talent, but instead God's talent." May God continue to channel through you.
      Blessings,
      Laurie

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  5. I've always wanted, longed, yearned, (what's more intense than all those verbs combined?) to be a writer. There's nothing I've ever wanted to do with such passion as sitting down in front of this computer and telling stories (especially novels).
    I'm still not calling myself a writer, or feel VERY awkward when I do. It's like, wow, those shoes are TOO big for me. (So for the time being, I'm a blogger and a wannabe, would-be novelist).
    Four months ago, thanks in part to Jamie's blog and Edie's now famous phrase, I decided I WAS going to write. WHATEVER. The novel is still an undownloadable mess in my mind (today two of my characters, and all of them have been frighteningly silent since I decided to finally write their stories, paid me a VERY short visit but their conversation was too short to be worth typing) but definitely a project.
    Have I mentioned that I'm an incorrigible procrastinator, and a serial doubter, and that my panic is greater than my desire?
    Edie, I think I need you to give me a big dose of that famous phrase of yours!

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    1. Hi Carina, I think we all feel like we're trying to fill our mother's shoes and just toddling along in our awkward state. But oh, we want to fill those shoes!

      As a senior in college, I have to say the growth as a writer has come with some pain. As a junior I learned that not everything I write is going to be brilliant. What? What did you say? You heard me, sometimes it is all nothing but rubbish. The tabloids wouldn't even accept some of the trash I dared to turn into my professors. But yet, I have learned so much not only about writing, but also about myself, and life along the way. I have learned the beauty God has created on the inside too, not just in myself, but also in friends and fellow writers. Writers may at times seem like a neurotic lot, at the end of the day, we see things that other people don't see.

      Doubting and me are pals. We should start a club, or more of a doubters support group. I wish I could tell you how many answers I got wrong on a test due to self doubt, or how many tense moments I have had in relationships due to doubt. (divine or otherwise) If you find the cure for doubt, be sure to share it with all of us. We'll keep the light on for you.

      Blessings,
      Laurie

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  6. When I went to my first writing workshop about three years ago, I only went in order to spend the afternoon with my daughter. She later got busy with college life and for some odd reason, I kept writing.
    I thought it was a whim that would eventually get tossed in the drawer like my beginnings of cross-stitch, latch-hook rugs, needlepoint (& whatever other projects I never finished). :0
    As soon as I was felt like hanging it up, God would send me an encouragement to keep going. I won books from writers' blogs twice (one was from this blog!). Other times it was a word of encouragement or an acutal acceptance of something I wrote.
    The first time I really accepted the fact that I am a writer was at Christian Devotions Boot Camp January 2012. They made us say it so often, I began to believe it.

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    1. Dear Sally, I love your encouraging story. Wow, I want to be you when I grow up. By the way, I have bins and bins of needlecraft UFOs that I have around the house, always believing that someday I will drag out and finish. I wonder if that is what will happen with our writing. Twenty years from now we might pull out a story or poem and say HEY! I finally know how to fix that! Sometimes I wonder if writing is merely cheap therapy. Whether it is or not is irrelevant. I really believe what the experts say, "Just keep writing". It is what we do. Thanks for stopping by.

      Blessings,
      Laurie

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