Life Lessons—Why You Need Outside Support

by Reba J Hoffman Ph.D.

Other can help when we face change.

I recently had a conversation with a friend regarding the challenges I’ve faced over the last year. I told her I felt like it had affected me to the degree that I had changed. As much as I had hoped it wasn’t obvious, this friend said she’d noticed the change.

At first, that seemed like a bad thing because that meant my feelings and weather-worn persona had escaped their closet. Drat.

But, as I pondered it and reflected over the numerous bumps in the road, I realized what a gift I had. I have no doubt this friend has prayed. I hate to think what things would have been like without it. And, they accepted me, although I’d been putting my worst foot forward.  Unconditional. Unwavering. Truly amazing.

Writers face more challenges than victories.

As a writer, you face more challenges than victories. More rejection than acceptance. It’s just part of the publishing game. It is what it is. You face disappointment and criticism daily. Your critique group doesn’t like the scene you burned the midnight oil creating. You have an entire room in your house devoted to the storing the rejection letters.

It’s enough to make you burn your story outline and sell your computer on Craig’s List. That’s why you need outside support. You need those people in your life who can walk through your descent from grace and gently tell you, “your slip is showing”. Quitting the writing game is not an option. We need your story in print!

So how can you find these wonderful angels to be in your life? Certainly not on sale at Walmart. There are some things you can do to get that outside support. Here are just a few.

Be a support to others. Nothing pulls an individual closer than you being a support to them. They genuinely connect with you on a much deeper level.

Don’t be defensive. When those you trust tell you you’re seeing the glass half empty, recognize it as the truth in love and embrace it. Otherwise, they will withdraw their support as quickly as a cat pulls their paw away from a hot stove.

Friends protect your blind side!

Trust them to protect your blind side. You can’t see everything, even when it pertains to your own subtle behavior. Mind and behavior shifts sometimes sneak up on you and you don’t even see it. If someone else doesn’t protect your blind side, eventually, you’ll get sacked.

I dare say it’s impossible for you to get through the writer’s journey flying solo. That’s why you need outside support. That small circle of trusted friends and colleagues who can help keep you pointed toward your true north, and who will lovingly point out when you need an attitude adjustment. It’s not always pleasant, but always worth it.

Do you have outside support? Have you recently had your support point out stinkin’ thinkin’ to you? Share it here.

Reba J. Hoffman is the founder and president of Magellan Life Coaching (www.magellanlifecoaching.com). She holds a Ph.D. in Clinical Counseling and is a natural encourager. She serves as Member Care Coach for My Book Therapy and is the author of Dare to Dream, A Writer’s Journal. You can connect with Reba through her motivational blog, Finding True North, or by email at reba@magellanlifecoaching.com. You can also follow her on Twitter at @RebaJHoffman.