Friday, August 31, 2012

Life Lessons—Birds of a Feather


by Reba J Hoffman

I’ve always been very independent. In fact, when my Native American mom wouldn’t see me for hours on end, she finally named me “Winds of Autumn”. She said trying to pin me down was like trying to catch the wind and put it in a box.

So you can imagine how difficult it was for me to embrace the idea that I needed to be around other writers. Somehow, it just didn’t seem like a team sport to me. I was perfectly fine with going at it alone…or so I thought.

The truth is we have to surround ourselves with those who are like us. No, not those who all dress in white shirts with pocket protectors, black pants, white socks, and black patent leather shoes. That’d just be creepy. I’m referring to those with similar goals, journeys and dreams.

Here’s why: 
  • They understand you. If I say, “Shhhh, the voices in my head are talking,” to my therapist colleagues, they might want to do a psychiatric evaluation. But if I tell my fellow novelists, they totally understand. It’s completely normal.
  • It’s less lonely. Isn’t even a daunting task more fun when you have someone to do it with? Writers can meet regularly at Barnes and Noble or your favorite spot for coffee, computers and companionship.
  • They can relate. They’ve been there or they are walking the path right now. They can warn you about the hazardous curve ahead or the bumps in the road. And, you can do that for others.
  • It’s less tiring. Ever see migratory birds flying together? From a distance, it may appear they stay in the same position but no one fowl shoulders the load alone. Each of them takes a turn flying into the wind. The other birds draft behind, drafting off the bird in front of them. So it is with authors. Why invent the wing?
  • It broadens your horizons. You have never walked in someone else’s shoes. Being able to see life through their eyes deepens your knowledge and can give you more well-rounded plots and characters. 

I guess what I’m saying is don’t be like me. I really lived up to Winds of Autumn. Looking back I realize that was a hard, agonizing way to fly. So gather your flock and perch somewhere together. The eggs you lay will hatch into an awesome bird!

16 comments:

  1. Amen sister. I told my husband to Shhhh the other day. "you are interrupting us'>

    "US?" he asked

    "Yes", I replied, "me and my writing are having a discussion!"

    Thank you for understanding…I may forward him this blog!

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    1. I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who does that. My husband just grins when I do it. I get an eye roll from kids! Blessings E

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    2. haha Diane. Isn't it nice to know there are others? You're definitely not alone!

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  2. I'm always talking to my hero or heroine. Or fussing because neither of them will do what I want them to do.

    Great post, as always, Reba!

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  3. What a fabulous post, Reba and Edie! Love this idea. Being with others who understand and challenge us is such an important thing.

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    1. Reba always hits the mark! Blessings, E

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    2. Hi thoughts, that's exactly why I wrote this. It not only is important to be around those who "get it", it's critical to our survival.

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  4. Reba, you are so right. It does seem like our life as writers would be solitary, but it's my critique partners who hold my feet to the fire and keep me going, especially when I don't believe in myself.

    (And, I have actually apologized to my characters when I left them in a bind for too long! I'm sure a shrink would have a hay day with that!) ;)

    Thanks for the encouragement!

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  5. So true, Reba!! My writer friends are a tremendous source of encouragement and accountability!!

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  6. Reba,

    Such wisdom. I'm so glad to have other writing buddies, that get me.

    Makes me not seem so crazy :)

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  7. I meet with a small goal setting/accountability group on Tuesday mornings. It has helped me reach so many goals that I wouldn't have without their encouragement and gentle reminders about my goals. Great blog! Thanks.

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  8. Edie, so I'm not the only one who tells people to be quiet because the voices in my head are going nuts? Thank goodness! I did that to my mom the other day and she thought I'd officially lost it! I told her to "call Edie" and you'd explain that one! Great post today! Love you Edie! You're a treasure!

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  9. Love your comment, "The eggs you lay will hatch into an awesome bird!" Birds are up my alley!

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  10. I'm a loner as well, but I don't like feeling lonely, and that was happening sometimes with my writing. It's great to be part of a community of writers online and off. Sometimes I need face-to-face. I found a writers group a while back and I really look forward to our meetings. Thanks for confirming that I need to keep up the group work ... writing really is a team sport after all. : )

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